Post # 1
Fiance and I want to do the “wedding” in my country- tropical location, my family etc. However, since we are doing the fiance visa for the USA, we would not do a legal marriage here by signing the papers. In essence we would be committing before God and family to be our own family unit and our family would be there to see us exchange our vows, take pictures etc. The pastor doing it says he would simply leave out the signing and the part where he pronounces us man and wife. We plan to follow-up with a courthouse ceremony to sign the legal documents once I enter the USA. This allows us to please my family here with their involvement as it is not financially viable to fly them to the USA for the wedding right now.
So, some of my friends thinks this means we are already married in God’s eye as we consecrated before him but then others say that it is not consecrated until the legal papers have been signed. I think the issue arose when persons started to ask if we would have a honeymoon. Of course the group who thinks it is consecrated says a honeymoon is fine, while the other group says it is fornication. Not splitting airs as we are both going ahead with the ceremony and being together, but I am interested to hear what you fellow bees think on this issue?
Post # 3
Personally, I think that once you have the marriage ceremony and make your commitments to God and each other, you are married.
If you haven’t already, I recommend speaking with your pastor for spiritual guidance on this
Post # 4
I would say – spiritually yes, legally no.
Post # 5
I depends on your views on religion and the law. Personally, I believe that once you have shared your commitment in front of god then you are married in his eyes and therefore Married. Your legal joining is just that, a legal matter.
Post # 6
My brother who is a pastor is of a different denomination from the minister conducting the service, thinks that if we sleep together after the commitment service that the other minister is conducting, we are sinning. My mother, conservative though she is, is disagreeing with my brother nd while we probably will honeymoon, it is just weird to me how different ministers can see the same situation so differently.
One minister is invoking that marriage is a covenant with God thus ratified, while the other minister is saying that the convenant cannot occur without the legality of man. How can too ministers read the same bible and be so varied in their views? This is why trying to be a Christian is sooooo hard- all the conflicting views can be a turnoff sometimes.
Post # 7
@islandbabes: Wow, I would never, ever, ever discuss my sex life (never ever ever ever) with my brother or mom, nor let their input sway my decisions in that arena, so I think it’s really cool that you guys can be open about it.
Ultimately, it’s your call. I’m not religious, so to me, once you’re legally married, you’re married. I think the rest depends on your own particular beliefs!
Post # 8
I believe in separation of church and state. I think if you go through the ceremony…legal or not…it’s the real deal in God’s eyes.
Post # 9
Why not have the official court ceremony before you go abroad for your ceremony with your family? That would solve the whole dilemma.
Post # 10
@ DJones6005 …that would determine how quickly we can be together. If we get married with legal documents here, then we have to wait a longer period to complete the filing process for an immigrant visa and I cannot use my visitor visa to travel to the USA in the meanwhile.We really do want to start our lives together in the shortest possible time that is legally possible.
While if we go the shorter route of a fiance visa, then we have to get married within the USA after being granted the fiance visa and as such, cannot have a legal wedding here. We are doing everything by the book but we still wanted to have a commitment service here before we go.
@crayfish…lol..not a FULL discussion but just the mention of being intimate after the commitment service came up and I addressed it. Oh…the thought of my brother in my sex life per se..no no no….
Post # 11
The United States and all of its laws and paperwork did not exist when Jesus was around or when the Bible was written… so I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that God would give a crap if you got the right stamp on the right piece of paper!
Post # 12
lol @ Mandypop…good thought..I really never thought this far into it when I suggested a committment service but it seems to have taken on a life of its own in my family discussions. You are correct though as Adam and Eve probably needed no marriage certificate
Post # 13
haha i totaly agree with mandypop. It is a covenant between you, your husband and God. I think it would be totally fine announcing you man and wife as well.
Post # 14
I’m not christian, but I believe the ceremony makes the marriage. You both commit your lives to one another. and that’s what matters. Law (created by men like 100 years ago) doesn’t matter.
Post # 15
@islandbabes: If you are planning to visit the U.S. before the wedding, then get married at that time, before the ceremony in your country. Many U.S. citizens planning to have a destination wedding get married before leaving the U.S. That way, they know they are legally married and there are many less complications. You can then share with your mother and the pastor performing the ceremony that you are already married and are, in essence, having a vow renewal ceremony before your family and friends.
Post # 16
@mandypop: I completely agree with this! I feel you will be married in the eyes of God. Feel free to consumate your marriage