(Closed) Dollar Dance

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Whateves,  just my opinion.  It sure seems like fundrasing to me.

Post # 34
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kittykat: the ones I’ve been to are Hungarian dollar dances. All of the guests (who want to participate) get in a circle and circle around the bride as someone pops in for 10 seconds to dance with the bride. Usually you do give money (a dollar) and then take a shot before you dance with the bride. It’s danced to some sort of eastern european music.

That’s my take on it as an outsider, I’m not from that culture, but Fiance is.

Post # 35
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

 I get being respectful and not “begging” for money. But, to me, if you don’t want to participate then,….wait for it….just DON’T participate!!! Just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.

To OP, if it means that much to him and you don’t think that many ppl will be “offended” then go for it. But, don’t just give in if it’s something that will really bother you.

Oh and side note…there will be one at my wedding…..may the etiquette book be thrown in my general direction!

Post # 36
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

From what I could see, the bride didn’t make that much money… it was more ceremonial than money grabbing?

Post # 37
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think it depends on your culture/where you’re from. In my culture we don’t do dollar dances. But when I go to weddings that have them, I don’t think tacky or that you’re just begging for money, I just think that they do things differently than I do.

Post # 38
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@emilygrace07:  What you explained is the part that I don’t understand.  Shouldn’t the bride and groom be making the effort to spend time with each of their guests anyway?  Isn’t that part of being a good host? I just don’t get the philosophy that their needs to be dancing and money involved for the bride and groom to spend time with their guests.

Post # 39
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Okay, okay….to each their own.  Just wouldn’t be seen in my circle of family or friends.  I have a hungarian friend and will definitely ask her about this ‘cultural dance’.  I do tend to love interesting cultural sentiments.

Post # 40
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Fiance wants to do this too.  He’s actually excited about it.  Again, it’s a cultural thing for us, so it won’t be seen as tacky by our latino family.  My nonlatino friends are used to us being crazy, so I’m sure they will chalk it up to the crazy latin people.  I don’t know why people get so worked up about the dollar dance.  My best friend is from Laos and they came by each table with a vase or pot and people put money in it.  (It’s been almost 13 years, so I’m not sure exactly how the whole thing goes.)  They gave money and they didn’t even get to dance with the bride.  They tied dollar bills to her wrists as well.  The more they gave the more luck they bestowed upon the couple.  Every American in there was confused and every Laosian in there wouldn’t have stood for it if she didn’t come by with each table.  They would have made her a pot on the spot and made her walk with it anyway. 

Post # 41
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

View original reply
@lisa105  I think this is just an instance where you aren’t going to “get” it.  Allowances have to be made for cultural differences. To YOU it may be along the same lines as tossing the garter, but to others it may be along the same lines as the dance done at Jewish weddings (the name escapes me at the moment). Cultural, regional, and sometimes even family traditions sometimes take precedence over “proper” etiquette and I personally think that’s OK. 

Post # 42
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@JamaicaBride: That Jewish dance is called the Hora.

🙂

Post # 43
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@crayfish:  I had no idea I had the power to deny anyone here the right to their opinion.  I’m allowed mine too, yes?  And if people feel “degraded” or embarrassed by their choices that’s hardly on me.

I’m also a little tired of being called out publicly by moderators for my record number of flags.  To my knowledge, I haven’t been flagged in quite some time and I’ve certainly done nothing in this post to warrant one.  I’ve done by best to respect the rules here since I’ve been made aware of them.  Sorry you don’t like my opinions but how about letting me have a right to them?  You and everyone else are perfectly free to disregard them or ignore them entirely. 

 

Post # 44
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I find this so amusing!  How can a dollar dance be considered bad etiquette?  That is laughable.  Dollar dances are traditional at a lot of the weddings I’ve attended.  The tradition is the guests line up for a dance with the bride AND the groom.  They give the best man and Maid/Matron of Honor a dollar when it’s their turn and they get to dance with them for like a song or something.  I don’t think I’ll do it because it takes up a lot of time but I think it’s a cute way to get a chance to talk to all of your guests on a personal level.  It’s not cheap or tacky!  Geesh, prudes!

Post # 45
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The Dollar Dance is very common where I am from as well and I think it is a nice way for the guests to get some personal face time with the bride or groom.  That being said I agree with the poster who mentioned they can drag on FOREVER if you aren’t careful.  

I say you do the dollar dance, but have a clear time limit to it.  That way everyone who wants to participate can and it will be short enough that those who don’t understand or agree with the tradition can enjoy watching it for a brief amount of time.

I also don’t think it is tacky since it is a wedding tradition that the groom wants to participate in.  It is important and meaningful to the groom than it is perfectly fine; and will turn out to be fun for everyone. 

Post # 46
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

 If your fiance really wants it, incorporate it. Make it a short song and if people don’t make it, then promise them a free dance later on in the night. And if your guests don’t want to participate, they don’t have to. It’s that easy. And if they’er going to be snarky or mean about it, then they clearly aren’t there because they love and support you so what do you care? Do what feels right for the two of you!

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