(Closed) Dollar Dance

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 92
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

As a first generation born Mexican-American (entire fam is from Mexico) I want to say .. Dollar dances are the norm at ANY Mexican wedding I’ve been to.. no matter how extravagant or how simple the wedding is. Families quickly line up ready to get their picture taken with the couple while dancing. They proudly and happily place dollars made into funny shapes, or place them in funny areas. Ive never seen anyone make a mean face. Those who don’t wish to participate don’t and those that do, do. In fact I didn’t want a dollar dance at my wedding and a few of my tias and tios (aunts and uncles) looked at me like I was crazy. So I have to agree with everyone who says it is very traditional in some ethnicity’s. Tacky or not we sure do have a wonderful time dancing and laughing.

Post # 93
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@lisa105: You’re right, I’ve reached out to you publicly several times.  That’s been my attempt at resolution.  I usually work more privately, but you often bring up the site moderation policies in your retorts and then I’ve responded to that.

Anyway, I know you feel it’s bogus but please do not threadjack threads with repeated posts about how tacky things are.  As many commenters have mentioned, tackiness is specific to cultures.  What’s tacky in your culture is not necessarily tacky in others.

Post # 94
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

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@Neva: I’ve seen Monopoly money left at all the place settings for just that purpose.  That way people could put real money or Monopoly money into the hat, and no one really noticed or cared which.

Post # 95
Member
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

I’ve only been to one wedding that had a dollar dance and I ended up having to dance with the groom who was a friend of my bf at the time’s family.  My bf’s mom was so insistant that I had to do it. I had no desire to do it.It was SO uncomfortable.

BUT if this is what your FI’s family is used to and feels is an important part of the wedding AND it does not bother you, then do it. I”m sure there are things I’ll be doing in my wedding that some people will thumb their noses at.

Post # 96
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Lisa- Ive softened up a bit to you today so Im honestly saying this from the heart! lol:

“I’m sorry that some people can’t bear to read anything they don’t agree with or can’t read an opinion or a fact without taking it personally.”  THis is N-O-T the issue that people have with you. The problem is that you don’t state your opinion as an OPINION, you state is a FACT and you often (you did it today actually) tell people that if they do things a certain way, they are tacky. It is condescending and rude to assume that only one way of doing things is right.

Also- it’s a little hypocritical that you are telling the mods to talk to you about this privately. Yet YOU are continuing to write long paragraphs back to them on this thread. Why don’t you be the bigger person and PM them yourself?

Post # 97
Member
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

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@mrbee: well said, as always.

There is a difference between stating your opinion once per thread and then there is what some people do. You copy and paste parts of people’s posts and then attack what they wrote. Why?

You seem to view Weddingbee as a competition and you can be very hurtful and condescending. You try to bully people into seeing things your way. I don’t feel as though that kind of behavior has any place here.

 

Post # 98
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I actually think it is ok to respond “people will think that is tacky/bad etiquette” or “I think that’s tacky/bad etiquette.”  

The problem (as I see it) is when it goes beyond that.  Lots of adjectives and anectdotes and analogies are used that are meant to really be incendiary and to sort of use abrasiveness to drive the point home.  And I’m sure there is more than one person on this board who has done that.

Post # 100
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

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@kiki29: Just click on Mr.Bee’s name and send a request if you want the thread closed to any more responses.

It wasn’t you or anything you did. There’s a history of certain topics going downhill rapidly.

Post # 101
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Kiki29, it isn’t your fault.  I hope this doesn’t turn you off from posting.

Post # 102
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

View original reply
@flyinpig3:  I realize I can be blunt and I’ve tried to work on it.  Really.  When I first came here I didn’t quite get how The Bee worked but since having some things brought to my attention I’ve tried to assimilate.  I like discussions and even debates but I (now) realize The Bee isn’t a forum that wants debates.  Or heated ones anyway. 

I realize many things are just my opinion and I also don’t believe I make it a habit to run around calling things “tacky.” That said, when a Bride asks a question about etiquette I try to give her an accurate answer.   Its a topic I (obviously) have an interest in.  I also feel that when a Bride asks an etiqutte question she wants an accurate answer (not just random opinions) so when someone is steering her wrong (according to etiquette) I’ll also say something because I’m genuinely trying to help the Bride.  I have learned to keep my mouth shut when someone posts that they’re going to do something like a dollar dance but just have a question about what song to play or whatever.  But if they ask why its considered poor etiquette, it should be okay to answer.  

There’s a lot of misinformation out there drivin by the Wedding Industry who are just looking to increase their sales and profits.  They don’t care if a bride looks bad.  And you know what?  I don’t really care if a Bride chooses to do whatever at her wedding but isn’t it better that she makes an informed choice rather than doing something and finding out later its considered rude or in poor taste and is potentially embarrassed?

Post # 103
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I plan to have the dollar dance at my wedding. I think it is a great way to dance and spend a little time with the guests. Plus having a little extra money would really help. I have seen it done many times and I have never seen it done in a tacky way. I always get up at other weddings to be apart of the dollar dance. I think it is fun!

Post # 104
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

I secretly really like a lot of what Lisa has to say. But then, I appreciate brutal honesty. Flagging her posts because they offend you is lame. You don’t have a “right” to not be offended. Don’t hate the player!

On topic though, this is not typical in my community in the least. I would feel that it is a cash grab to go to a wedding where they had a dollar dance and I certainly wouldn’t have one at mine.

Post # 105
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

View original reply
@Dollygold: I secretly really like a lot of what Lisa has to say. But then, I appreciate brutal honesty. Flagging her posts because they offend you is lame.

Word.  And calling her out for having a bunch of flags when none of them have been legitimate (or else one would assume she would’ve recieved a warning or some sort of message from a mod) is even lamer.  Sucks when the teacher joins in with the mean girls.

Post # 106
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@lisa105: Agree.  I think it’s interesting and valuable to read your viewpoints from an etiquette perspective.  If a poster specifically asks about etiquette, I would think they want more than an it’s your wedding, do what you want response.

@kiki29 – If your fiance’s family expects the dance, I think it’s nice to bring in the traditions of his family.  If you are worried about what people think with the money, some of the PP had great ideas with play money and handing out $1 bills.   

 

The topic ‘Dollar Dance’ is closed to new replies.

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