(Closed) Dollar Dance

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 123
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Okie dokie, here are my thoughts.  I apologize if any of this has been said, because truth be told, I did not read every post.  So, I will not be having a dollar dance at my wedding.  However, they are very common in my culture, and out of the last four weddings I have been to, two had a dollar dance.  I was not offended at all, and I cannot think of one time that I have ever been offended at a wedding.  I will not be having a dollar dance, but that is only because it is not important to my fiance or me.  We will not be having several traditions at our wedding, including the garter toss, bouquet toss, sweetheart table, and cake cutting…to name a few.  That is because none of these traditions are important to us.  As for the tacky word, I am quite confused.  Why is it considered tacky to have a dollar dance and to expect money from your guests, but it is not considered tacky to have a registry and to expect guests to buy you a gift.  I realize that some might say, well your guests do not HAVE to buy you a gift, but the same can be said about the dollar dance.  You are picking out a store, making this huge list of things you want, and telling your guests: Before you come to our wedding, here is a list of items we want you to buy us.  I do not think a registry is tacky at all, but I do not understand how it differs from the dollar dance.

Post # 124
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@Mamasita2004:  i totally agree with you. but i can predict that you will get replies along the lines of “you do not tell your guests you have a registry…its only if they ASK you for it”

Post # 125
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I’d love for a mod to come in here and explain how what’s been going on is okay other than “we’ll do it because we don’t like her and we’re mods so we can, if you don’t like it go somewhere else.” 

Post # 127
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What about using tickets.  You can explain to people on the ticket that for everyone that you will be donating something to charity for every ticket that is used.

 

@Lezlers – you took all words out of my mouth.

Post # 128
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@aspasia475: Thank you for starting a new thread on the question!  It was an honest question and I’m truly interested in the answer(s) to that question so I’ll be following your thread. 

View original reply
@lezlers: If you read above, it was an honest question, that was asked politely so I’m not sure what part of it made you feel hostile and assume I was picking on someone.  I’m not allowed to ask honest questions just because I’m a “hostess?” 

Also, I’m actually not sure you can say with certainty what another poster has or hasn’t said because if it was something along the lines of what you mention, their comment would have been removed for violating our comment policy. Regarding your claim of who we have and have not warned in this thread, you mentioned being upset that a certain poster was called our publicly, but another wasn’t, but how do you know they weren’t spoken to privately?  Or should we make that information public even after you mentioned that’s not something you feel should be happening?  Honestly, it seems that whatever we do in this case won’t be satisfactory. By The Way, Mr. Bee has already addressed your question about his public responses and warnings: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/dollar-dance-3/page/3?replies=132#post-1596449

I’d prefer not to threadjack and this thread has gotten way off topic.  In hopes that it can get back on track, if you would like to speak more feel free to PM me.  You don’t like people being called out publicly, but you continue to publicly call out the mods because you don’t agree with our policies.  I have yet to receive a PM from you regarding any questions you have ever had…

Post # 129
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

in different areas of the country, dollar dances are well known. In ohio (and im guessing the midwest), its very acceptable. We will totally be doing it!

Post # 130
Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We didn’t plan on doing a dollar dance, but at the reception our DJ asked us, and EVERYONE around us urged us to do it.  I had a blast! It wasn’t about making money, I think we only got around $100 or so, and we put in the charity favor jar anyway.

We had so much fun doing it…I got to dance with people who I normally would not have danced with, like our officiant. 

Just my experience 🙂

Post # 131
Member
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have never been to a wedding without one, so for me it’s normal. I think if you want to do it you should. It’s a lot of fun!

Post # 132
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

In my very personal opinion, I feel uncomfortable asking our guests to take our their wallets at our wedding. However at my brother’s wedding this summer I have to tell you that I was thrilled they did a money dance because it was the only time all day I got a minute alone to talk to him and congratulate him without someone interrupting us. I think its a regional/family thing and regardless, if you don’t like them don’t participate. To each their own, right? 

Post # 134
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lezlers: I said before and I’ll say it again, if you’d like to continue the discussion, please PM me or even Mr. Bee, if you still have questions.  I’d prefer that this thread didn’t continue to get threadjacked.  Thank you.

Post # 135
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I personally have never been to a wedding that had one and do feel that they are in poor taste if it’s not something that is a cultural norm, or is common to have within your/ FI’s family. If people aren’t accustomed to seeing them, it can easily come across as greedy/ bizzar without understanding the history or the cultural background behind t.

Post # 136
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I know this thread has gotten very off-topic, but one thing i wanted to add RE the $ dance:

Someone had previously mentioned that the $ dance takes up a lot of time at the reception, and i’m sure there are many ways of doing it.  however, in our area, weddings generally have 150-200 people, and the $ dance takes a total of maybe 10 minutes.  each person pays $1 to the Maid/Matron of Honor, takes a shot if they want it, dances with the bride for long enough to congratulate her, then the next person cuts in.  it’s done to a fast-paced polka, so it’s lively, fun, and things move quickly.  when everyone gets through dancing with the bride, they circle around her, and the groom has to “fight through” to get to his bride.  i’ve always thought of it as a fun part of the night to get people on the dance floor and keep them there.  🙂

Post # 137
Member
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I thought the dollar dance was ethnically related thing.  My friend, who is Russian Orthodox had one at hers, but at any other wedding i’ve been to I’ve never seen it done.  I could be wrong but that’s what i thought.  

Post # 138
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
@HisIrishPrincess: i think you are right. i never heard of a dollar dance before coming on wedding bee, but a lot of bees have said it is part of their cultural traditions and their families expect it.

Post # 139
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m finally glad someone on page 1 mentioned what the dollar dance was because I’ve been unsure for a while!  I’ve never seen it before and don’t tend to carry money on me at wedding but I guess if you’re accustomed to it then you’d be prepared.  I say go for it OP!

As for Lisa’s comments.. I don’t see anything wrong with her strong opinionated responses.  I find it more bizarre that someone would randomly ask why she has an interest in etiquette – it is irrelevant and the biggest thread-jacking comment out of the 4 pages on this post. 

The topic ‘Dollar Dance’ is closed to new replies.

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