(Closed) Dollar Dance Drama

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well how about instead of people giving you money, you leave a ticket or Monopoly money or some sort of token at everyone’s seat for people to use.  Or you can have little bits of paper and pencil at the tables and people can give you well wishes.  That way you can still have the dance but since real money isn’t involved it doesn’t appear as “trashy” (how rude btw) to those people who don’t get it.


Post # 4
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m in a similar predicament with the bouquet and garter toss. I don’t really care what anyone says, we’re not doing it. My mom and sisters think it’s like the worst thing ever (and my sister gets offended since they did it at her wedding).  It’s just not for us.  that’s all you have to say. And if it’s creating that much drama, just don’t talk about it until closer to the wedding.  I just told my parents we would consider doing it even though I have no intention of it.  If they keep bugging me I have every intention of telling them we are doing it then just not doing it.  They won’t even notice!

Post # 5
979 posts
Busy bee

Both the dollar dance and bouquet/garter toss are very traditional. i see a lot of couples leaving one or both of these out of their wedding day.  I’d personally leave out the dollar dance. I did this on my first wedding. I wish I wouldn’t have and would have enjoyed my wedding and having fun with my guests instead of dancing with people who i didn’t feel comfortable dancing with in the first place LOL  I mean, yeah, you make money, but you pay for your day, and consume your year (or longer) planning that day, enjoy it.  It goes by QUICK!!!!!!!!!

Post # 6
31 posts

Just don’t do it. If you are not bothered, and your h2b doesn’t want to do it, then don’t do it. And don’t even tell people you’re not doing it. They might not even notice the absence.

You should never feel obliged to do something you don’t want to, no matter who did it.

Post # 7
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If your Fiance doesn’t want to do it, then don’t do it.  And just stop talking to your family about it.  Also, make SURE the DJ knows that under no circumstances is this going to happen.

Post # 8
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If he’s against is skip it.


My finance and I are for it, his mother is not, but it’s tradition in my family so we will go forward with it.

Post # 9
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

Once the reception really gets going, does anyone even notice? If there are older relatives who just want the one-on-one time with you, maybe there’s another way you and your Fiance can make the rounds and see everyone.

Post # 10
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Catholic Church and Lord Hill Farms

Instead of the dollar dance my Fiance and I decided to do what we call “Who Wears It?” You take 2 glasses or jars; one with each of your names on it and you make a little card to be displayed between them that whichever one has more in it will get some frosting on the face! My Fiance doesnt want to do the garter toss but I really want to do the bouquet toss since I have many friends around the marrying age with significant others so I think itd be interesting

Post # 11
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you don’t want it, don’t do it.  And simply leave it at that – “we just don’t want to, and we’ll just feel like we’re doing it because we HAVE to, and that’s not how we want to feel that day.”  Don’t get into thinking it’s trashy or whatever.  Just say it’s not your cup of tea, for your own wedding.  If people try to make it a thing derail them with something like “I appreciate that, but we just decided we don’t want it” or whatever.  Polite.  Respectful of what other people had/want at their weddings, but don’t do things because you’re supposed to.  Do things because you want them.  If you don’t want them, don’t do them.

Post # 12
124 posts
Blushing bee

@oneofthesethings:  This.  And as PP’s have said stop discussing it with your family.  If they bring it up, bean-dip them.  If you Fiance is very against it, I wouldn’t do it.

Post # 13
495 posts
Helper bee

Just skip it. You can even say, “It was so fun at your wedding, cousin! But it’s not something FI’s family does, so we decided to skip it!” Or just say, as a PP suggested, “It’s not for us. Can’t wait to do it at the next OurFamily wedding, though!”

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