(Closed) Dollar Dance, tradition vs. tacky

posted 8 years ago in Music
  • poll: Dollar Dance:

    Tacky-don't do it!

    Just fine!

    Don't have a strong opinion eitherway

  • Post # 92
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @atlbride2013:  wow,  how incredibly rude and inflammatory to marginalize several people’s cultural heritage because it’s not your idea of a good time. Its on par with me saying only pigs and Russians think that borscht is a good meal. It’s a terrible,  untrue statement based on a pretty prejudiced ideal. 

    Anways,  money dances are also traditional in Nigerian Igbo weddings. In my circle,  at least,  money is usually given instead of gifts,  not in addition to.  However it’s not paying the newlyweds a dollar to dance with them,  instead as they dance,  or their parents or immediate family members dance,  guest come up and spray them with money,  to send them off into their marriage  a little more financially secure. The wedding money we received did not fund our honeymoon at all,  it’s in a COD gathering interest. y

    Post # 93
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Tacky. You don’t make guests open their wallets at a wedding and you don’t ask for cash. Two faux pas. Don’t do it.

    Post # 96
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee

    @Chrysoberyl:  Thank you. I’m Greek and would EXTREMELY upset if someone made an issue of it or called it tacky!

    Post # 97
    Member
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It partly depends oN the intent behind it.

     

    If you’re doing it because its an inherent part of your culture, in that same way as say a bouquet toss then that’s acceptable. If its not part of your culture and you’re doing it only to make money then that’s tacky.

     

    Its not part of Fiance and my cultures, and neither of us would dream of trying to shake down our guests for money, therefore we will not be doing it.

    Post # 98
    Member
    1616 posts
    Bumble bee

    @agdluvstx:  This thread is already pretty upsetting. I stated on here multiple times that you shouldn’t call something tacky just because it’s from a different culture.

    You know, traditionally, we Greeks don’t have a bachelorette or a shower. I guess we start threads calling them tacky! Can you imagine the uproar?

    Sometimes bees on here can get VERY ethnocentric with their cries of ‘TACKY!!’ 

    Post # 99
    Member
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Chrysoberyl:  +1000

    Just about every Mexican wedding I’ve ever been to had a dollar dance. Including very chic, expensive, formal ones. It’s a tradition. I don’t like jordan almonds as favors, but that doesn’t make them “tacky” when Italian couples give them. I wouldn’t want tons of gold braclets going all the way up my arms, but for Indian brides it’s traditional. I’m getting REAL tired of the “tacky” word. 

    Post # 100
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee

    @Chrysoberyl:  It’s not like it’s required of EVERY person to throw hundred dollars bills or start stuffing them in the brides cleavage like a stripper. It’s very sad to see so many people ignorant to cultures.

    Post # 101
    Member
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    “Tradition” is not mutually exclusive with “Tacky.” Having the groom climb up the bride’s dress to grab the garter is “tradition” but most people are still pretty damn uncomfortable when that happens = tacky.

     

    If you MUST do a variation of the dollar dance to “please” family, do it money-less. Have people write down marital advice or best wishes on a piece of paper and have THAT be thrown/given/however your “tradition” says its done.

    Post # 102
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @classyashley:  I don’t know if you’ll see this still, but I suggest you read this before you, and others, call something from another culture “tacky” (ugh, I HATE that word!): http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1124525-To-think-American-baby-showers-are-tacky-and-rude/AllOnOnePage

     

    On that page, there are UK moms talking about how baby showers, and by extension, bridal showers are “tacky” and “gift grabby”, but they are a tradition here in North America, are they not? Who is right, and who is wrong? So you think bridal showers and baby showers are the appropriate place to give gifts, and other cultures think it is appropriate to pin money on a bride’s dress during the wedding reception. They are NOT WRONG for that, any more than we are wrong for having a baby shower!

    I’m not even having a money dance, and even I find this crap to be offensive.

    Get off it, please.

     

     

    Post # 103
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I think the dollar dance is fun!  I’ve only been to one wedding that had it and we all had a good time lining up to dance with the bride/groom.

    Post # 104
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee

    On Wikipedia the money dance, or dollar dance, is noted as being tradition in Poland, Ukraine, Yugoslavia, Hungary, Mexico, The Philippines, and some regions of the United States. 

    I’m Hispanic and growing up a few of my cousins had dollar dances at their weddings.

    I feel like it really depends on knowing your guests. If it’s not part of your culture, or something not done in your region a lot of people will consider it tacky.

    To me, it was fun. No one was scoffing at it because it was something done at a lot of weddings. You gave, or pinned, money to the bride and groom and got to dance with them. It gave you one-on-one time and I think everyone appreciates that because we all know how busy their day is. 

    Post # 105
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Dollar Dances are one of those things that definitely depend on tradition. I’ve heard Dollar Dances are traditional in the South and Midwest. I grew up in the Northeast and never even heard of a Dollar Dance until I joined Wedding Bee.

    I was just at a wedding in New Jersey yesterday that had a Dollar Dance, and I was kind of offended. The reception was at a VERY fancy and expensive venue and they had a cash bar, too. 

    Cash bar + super expensive venue + Dollar Dance = tacky, in my opinion. It very much looked like the couple was holding their hands out for more after guests already bought gifts and had to pay for drinks on top of that. Plus, it didn’t help that Dollar Dances aren’t tradition in the Northeast.

    So in my opinion, it depends on a combination of regional/family tradition and what kind of venue you’re hosting the reception at.

    Post # 106
    Member
    1742 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had a blast during the money dance at the most recent wedding I attended–I’d actually never participated in one because this dance is tradition on one side of the family (the one that has no cousins my age, so no weddings), but not on the other (the one that has ALL THE COUSINS), but I’ve seen pictures of it from the weddings of my parents’ generation.  I was sitting with some folks who didn’t know about the tradition and so I bankrolled them and we all had a fantastic time!

    I don’t think badgering people who don’t wish to participate is acceptable, but, to go off some previous posts, I also think that there is very little difference in the spirit/intention of a dollar dance and the spirit/intention of a shower–the practice of a shower represents a different manifestation of that spirit or intention than the dollar dance does, and so this really does strike me as a cultural matter and one where throwing around “tacky” can be a fraught practice. 

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