(Closed) Domestic violence in my apartment building… need to vent

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OMG how horrible! You are doing all the right things…calling the police and offering help. Many cudos to you!!! It’s all just so sad.

Be careful tho hun. I shudder at the thought of him turning is anger on to you.

Post # 5
Member
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@mandypop: Oh wow.  You definitely did the right thing by calling the police.  That’s so terribly sad.  I would be so frustrated and upset if I heard something like that.  I would have called the police too.

Post # 6
Member
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would keep calling the police.

Who knows maybe the next time you call your saving someones life.

So sorry you have to deal with this; its terrible 🙁

Post # 8
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

With domestic violence, there’s kind of a tight-rope.  A lot of victims get hurt the most when they protest; that is, if a women who’s being beaten brings in the cops, she’s likely to get beaten harder/more.  You should certainly do what you think is right, but keep in mind that she may not be cooperating because it’ll put her in a situation where she’s more at risk.  We’d all like to think that abusive jerks get put away, but that’s actually rarely the case; and it’s worth while to defer to the victim’s wishes in most cases, because they have the best intuition/radar/insight into when it’ll be safe to leave the abuser.

It will certainly help her if your reports are on record, but please don’t get your nose out of joint about her not reporting him.  The most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they try to leave, and she may just not be ready yet — and that shoud be ok.

Post # 9
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

please please keep calling the police. I actually witnessed a neighbor CLOSED fisted punching his 8 month pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. I called the cops and had his Girlfriend get into my car. the police yelled at me saying i should have walked away and just called the cops. They kept saying what if he killed me or had a gun or knife. sorry. i was willing to risk that. i made her promise she would press charges. come to find out he beat her all the time. 

i had to go to court and everything. 

DV is NOT acceptable, and I wish more people would stand up for others instead of being so scared of being involved!

call the cops, he is CLEARLY not treating her nicely! 

Sorry you have to hear this all the time!

Post # 10
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

i know this isnt what you want to hear but she wont leave him…yet. itll have to get really bad. google: battered woman syndrome.  

so….please just be super careful.

Post # 13
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@mandypop:  That is so sad…I’m so glad she has someone like you as a neighbor. I feel like a lot of people wouldn’t get involved at all so it’s great that you are standing up for her.

Post # 14
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely keep calling the police. As a previous victim of domestic violence myself I have to say you’re doing the right thing but that the woman probably does not realise it yet, but will do in time. Unfortunately though, it is likely to get worse before it gets better. But because the police already know it’s happening, their address will be flagged so when a more serious injury does occur they will be able to instantly arrest him without her cooperation.

Like someone else said she is probably afraid because sometimes when anyone outside the relationship intervenes, whether it’s the authorities or just concerned neighbours, things can get worse/threaten to get worse.

Also bear in mind if she speaks little English she is probably quite isolated and dependant on him so the thought of being without him (ie he gets put in jail) is probably just as terrifying. Is there any way at all you could befriend this woman? I know you probably don’t need the drama in your life but it’s likely she has nobody else to turn to.

Post # 15
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You are doing the right thing, keep it up! If it were me I would call the police every single time I heard them screaming. You just never know…people are CRAYZAY!

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