- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I’m probably just peeved about this one and will be okay if I cool down, but bear with me…
I have a cousin who, when she found out I was having a destination wedding in Disney World, was all excited and told me she’d be there with bells on. A few weeks later, she told me that she had already booked the week off work and that she’d been talking with some friends and they were all going to go down and have fun, but only she and some guy (not a boyfriend) would be coming to the wedding. Honestly, I hadn’t been planning on giving her a +1 because she wasn’t seeing anyone and this was supposed to be a small destination wedding, but it didn’t bother me too much, so when I sent out the actual invitations, I sent one to her and a guest. For several weeks after that, she talked about how excited she was and how she had bought the perfect dress, etc…
A few days after the RSVP deadline, I texted her to ask for confirmation that she was coming because I hadn’t received her RSVP card. That’s when she told me what she couldn’t afford the trip, so she wouldn’t be able to make it. No worries, I completely understand.
Fast forward to the at-home reception (which is taking place this Saturday) – Same excitement about coming and she tells me that she took the day off work. Again, she tells me that she’s bringing a friend. We live about 4 hours apart and she told me that because she only had the one day off work, she was bringing the friend to help with the driving. Although I still hadn’t been planning on inviting a guest for her, I felt like this was a good reason, so I didn’t say anything. I asked for the friends name for the seating chart and went on my merry way. Last week, I was talking to her and was asking about where she’d be staying when she came into town, etc… and she told me a hotel and her plans. She sounded very excited.
Last night, I texted her just to see when she would be arriving in town cause I thought we might be able to hang out a bit the night before. Her answer was “Oh, I don’t think I can make it anymore” Something about having to work (although she’d told me earlier that she’d already booked it off and her friend was helping her drive cause she had to work late on Friday and early on Sunday). I doubt she was actually going to tell me that she wasn’t coming if I hadn’t asked for her plan.
Now, I’m incredibly annoyed at what feels like a lack of respect. She clearly has no idea what goes into planning a wedding and how her decisions can make an impact on other stuff. However, she’s family and we’re kinda close, so I can forgive her.
This brings me to the point of this post though (sorry for being so long!) – Should I nicely tell her just how many issues she may have caused? It’s not really for me cause I’ll be done and over with this by Saturday, but, at 21 years old, she’ll likely be attending A LOT of wedding s in the next few years. And while it’s not a huge deal to me, it could be a much bigger deal to other couples. I’d like to at least bring up to her that you can’t bring a date if you’re not specifically given a +1. I’d also like to tell her that cancelling out at the last minute is very uncool, especially if you don’t tell anyone that you’re cancelling. I don’t think she understands that there are now two meals that are paid for and are now going to go to waste, not to mention the headache of table assignments, etc… Again, this isn’t so much about me as it is a lesson she should really learn for other weddings.
I don’t want to be seen as the etiquette-police, but I think someone should tell her. What do you think?