(Closed) Donate to charity instead of traditional wedding favor

posted 6 years ago in Favors
Post # 2
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I have been to two weddings that did this and I really love the idea! One donated to their local cancer agency and another couple donated to the SPCA. I think it’s more thoughtful than giving favors because to be honest I don’t keep most of the favors anyway…they either get lost in our house or go into the garbage during annual clean ups because we don’t have anywhere to put them. Giving out to charity is a more meaningful way imo. 

oh I forgot to mention there was another wedding that I went to that donated to the United Nations. I don’t think any of the guests minded there were no favors in any of those wedding. I think they cared more about having a good time or not 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by MrsHappyWifey.
Post # 3
Member
9251 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My biggest problem with this is your taking something for your guests and giving it away. If you want to make a charitable donation in honour of your wedding then give up something that is for you and/or the groom like flowers, fancy shoes, accessories, centrepieces, getting ready robe etc etc etc.

If you don’t want to give some useless treasure as a favour then don’t. There are millions of options of the edible variety that the majority won’t find useless. Or have no favours at all but don’t tell people we were going to give you something but decided to give it to someone more deserving whilst splashing oodles of cash on our one day party. Tee hee aren’t we great philanthropists.

Post # 5
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you don’t want to do a favor, just don’t do a favor. Don’t give money away, tell your guests about it and automatically expect all your guests to be happy with your choice. Many “charities” are very controversial.

I think there are only really a few cultures where wedding guests still expect a favor. Most favors are useless pieces of junk.

If you want to make a donation to your charity, rather than spend money on a favor, make your donation. Just don’t tell your guests about it. It really has nothing to do with your wedding.

 

Post # 6
Member
6881 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

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MrsSmith12:  Here is my thought just make a donatation and just don’t mention it. I say this as to there are charties, myself as a guest would not want to be associated with and would be offended if you donated to something I don’t believe in or care about in my name. Donating to charity is a personal preference of who they dontate or do not dontate to

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by .
Post # 7
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Sedona Golf Resort

View original reply
MrsSmith12:  while I think it a noble thing to do, it is not something I would choose to do because you are deciding for someone where the donation should go and they don’t get the benefit of the tax write off-you do. 

If you are going with a wine theme I think the wine stoppers are great-that’s what I did and perhaps a small personal labeled bottle of wine. Half red and half white and let guests choose. 

Post # 8
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

So we did both. We donated to some local animal rescues because they are close to our hearts and our guests know that AND we got a photobooth and got some acrylic frames for their pictures. The frames were less than $1 a piece, the photobooth we were going to do regardless So i didnt really consider that cost, and we donated about another $1 p/p between 3 local rescues (we had about 210 guests)

Post # 9
Member
2688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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j_jaye:  I have to agree. It may just be my social circle but I never understood the point of this. Why take something that’s supposed to be a thank you to guests and give it away? It wasn’t their choice? Why even use your wedding as a time for making a donation? Why not donate at any time of the year. I, personally, just find it odd.

It always reeks of.. “look at what great people we are donating to charity”

Not saying this is you OP.. it’s just my gut reaction to it, I can be totally off.

Post # 10
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

 

Please don’t do this.

It is gracious, generous, and respectable to request that other people donate to charity instead of giving you gifts. But it is completely different, and not at all appropriate, to donate to a charity in place of giving someone else a gift (unless they have specifically asked for such a donation). When you donate to a charity that you believe in, that’s wonderful – but it is not a “favor” to/for me, and it feels weird if you call it that.

If you want to skip the favors, just skip them. They aren’t a requirement. And if you feel like donating to a charity, for your own purposes, then do it. Just don’t pretend the charity donation is a “favor” to your guests.

Post # 11
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee

My husbands co-worker did this and our address and phone number got added to their list and we gets tons of junk mail and phone calls to give to numerous charities which we do not really support. If you want to donate, that’s fine, but maybe just have information out where your guests can donate if they chose to. Why not have donations to the charity in lieu of wedding gifts? 

Post # 12
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
MrsSmith12:  I agree with those posters who say that this isn’t a good idea–first off, it takes the concept of a favor, which should be for the guests, and makes it about you and your spouse and showing off your charitable virtue.  Second, charity is a very, very personal thing.  Even though I do a lot of rescue and anti-animal cruelty work, there are some anti-cruelty charities that I not only do not support, but actively oppose, and I would be infuriated if I saw that my “favor” was a donation to a group that I think is misguided and damaging to a cause that I spend a lot of time working for.  (I imagine that those who do work with women’s charities and abhor ‘pinkwashing’ might find donations to the Komen Foundation similiarly offensive, etc., etc.)

Virtually no one will miss favors at a well-hosted reception with plentiful food, drink, and quality music.

Post # 13
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Even the most well-meaning charity can be viewed as political. You might mean well, but there’s a chance some guest will not agree with the charity you have chosen. You don’t have to do a favor if you don’t want to, or you can give a more traditional favor that the guests can take with them.

Post # 14
Member
9251 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Sephiroth:  
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molokoa:  Could you imagine the posts if guests started doing this on their own. OMG all my guests gave to their favourite charities instead of getting us a gift, after all the money we spent hosting them with a dessert and all. 

Now those would be some amusing posts.

Post # 15
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

Please listen to all these people. Don’t do it.

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