Post # 1
My fiance and I are starting to look thru favors, and we’re not finding anything that really “speaks” to us. We’re having our wedding at Calamigos Ranch in Malibu, CA — kind of a glam/rustic place. We’re both really into wine, so we are serving really nice wine to all of our guests that evening. Our only thought for a quality wedding favor would be to buy personalized wine stoppers – there are some cute ones on etsy, of course!
But then I thought about making a donation to a charity in honor of our guests. I work in the non-profit world and my fiance is also very generous in this realm, so this gesture would also be a pretty accurate representation of who we are and what defines us. My question is, will guests be upset if we choose to do this? I’ve gotten some weird wedding favors in the past (cheap sunglasses, a meat rub and jelly beans to name a few..). I want all of our guests to know how much we appreciate them, and I don’t want to send them home with a useless treasure they’re likely to leave in their hotel room! Looking forward to your feedback!
Post # 2
I have been to two weddings that did this and I really love the idea! One donated to their local cancer agency and another couple donated to the SPCA. I think it’s more thoughtful than giving favors because to be honest I don’t keep most of the favors anyway…they either get lost in our house or go into the garbage during annual clean ups because we don’t have anywhere to put them. Giving out to charity is a more meaningful way imo.
oh I forgot to mention there was another wedding that I went to that donated to the United Nations. I don’t think any of the guests minded there were no favors in any of those wedding. I think they cared more about having a good time or not
Post # 3
My biggest problem with this is your taking something for your guests and giving it away. If you want to make a charitable donation in honour of your wedding then give up something that is for you and/or the groom like flowers, fancy shoes, accessories, centrepieces, getting ready robe etc etc etc.
If you don’t want to give some useless treasure as a favour then don’t. There are millions of options of the edible variety that the majority won’t find useless. Or have no favours at all but don’t tell people we were going to give you something but decided to give it to someone more deserving whilst splashing oodles of cash on our one day party. Tee hee aren’t we great philanthropists.
Post # 4
Thanks so much for your feedback, I am glad you think it is a kind gesture! I know it is more common than I think, I just wanted to put it out there to ease my worries!!
Thanks for your feedback, too! Our thought certainly isn’t to “take” anything away from our guests! We have a full dessert table that I am sure many people will enjoy. The thought was to acknowledge their presense and our gratefulness for them attending with a small gesture.. just one that isn’t tangible. We would leave a note at each place at the table telling guests that in lieu of a traditional wedding favor, we have chosen to donate to _____ organization in their honor.
Post # 5
If you don’t want to do a favor, just don’t do a favor. Don’t give money away, tell your guests about it and automatically expect all your guests to be happy with your choice. Many “charities” are very controversial.
I think there are only really a few cultures where wedding guests still expect a favor. Most favors are useless pieces of junk.
If you want to make a donation to your charity, rather than spend money on a favor, make your donation. Just don’t tell your guests about it. It really has nothing to do with your wedding.
Post # 6
Here is my thought just make a donatation and just don’t mention it. I say this as to there are charties, myself as a guest would not want to be associated with and would be offended if you donated to something I don’t believe in or care about in my name. Donating to charity is a personal preference of who they dontate or do not dontate to
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2014 - Sedona Golf Resort
while I think it a noble thing to do, it is not something I would choose to do because you are deciding for someone where the donation should go and they don’t get the benefit of the tax write off-you do.
If you are going with a wine theme I think the wine stoppers are great-that’s what I did and perhaps a small personal labeled bottle of wine. Half red and half white and let guests choose.
Post # 8
So we did both. We donated to some local animal rescues because they are close to our hearts and our guests know that AND we got a photobooth and got some acrylic frames for their pictures. The frames were less than $1 a piece, the photobooth we were going to do regardless So i didnt really consider that cost, and we donated about another $1 p/p between 3 local rescues (we had about 210 guests)
Post # 9
I have to agree. It may just be my social circle but I never understood the point of this. Why take something that’s supposed to be a thank you to guests and give it away? It wasn’t their choice? Why even use your wedding as a time for making a donation? Why not donate at any time of the year. I, personally, just find it odd.
It always reeks of.. “look at what great people we are donating to charity”
Not saying this is you OP.. it’s just my gut reaction to it, I can be totally off.
Post # 10
Please don’t do this.
It is gracious, generous, and respectable to request that other people donate to charity instead of giving you gifts. But it is completely different, and not at all appropriate, to donate to a charity in place of giving someone else a gift (unless they have specifically asked for such a donation). When you donate to a charity that you believe in, that’s wonderful – but it is not a “favor” to/for me, and it feels weird if you call it that.
If you want to skip the favors, just skip them. They aren’t a requirement. And if you feel like donating to a charity, for your own purposes, then do it. Just don’t pretend the charity donation is a “favor” to your guests.
Post # 11
My husbands co-worker did this and our address and phone number got added to their list and we gets tons of junk mail and phone calls to give to numerous charities which we do not really support. If you want to donate, that’s fine, but maybe just have information out where your guests can donate if they chose to. Why not have donations to the charity in lieu of wedding gifts?
Post # 12
I agree with those posters who say that this isn’t a good idea–first off, it takes the concept of a favor, which should be for the guests, and makes it about you and your spouse and showing off your charitable virtue. Second, charity is a very, very personal thing. Even though I do a lot of rescue and anti-animal cruelty work, there are some anti-cruelty charities that I not only do not support, but actively oppose, and I would be infuriated
if I saw that my “favor” was a donation to a group that I think is misguided and damaging to a cause that I spend a lot of time working for. (I imagine that those who do work with women’s charities and abhor ‘pinkwashing’ might find donations to the Komen Foundation similiarly offensive, etc., etc.)
Virtually no one will miss favors at a well-hosted reception with plentiful food, drink, and quality music.
Post # 13
Even the most well-meaning charity can be viewed as political. You might mean well, but there’s a chance some guest will not agree with the charity you have chosen. You don’t have to do a favor if you don’t want to, or you can give a more traditional favor that the guests can take with them.
Post # 14
Could you imagine the posts if guests started doing this on their own. OMG all my guests gave to their favourite charities instead of getting us a gift, after all the money we spent hosting them with a dessert and all.
Now those would be some amusing posts.
Post # 15
Please listen to all these people. Don’t do it.