(Closed) Donate to help me pay for my wedding!

posted 11 years ago in Money
  • poll: Help me Pay for my Wedding --- what do you think?

    It's Smart

    It's Tacky

    I can't believe she is doing this

  • Post # 17
    960 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Ohhh gotcha. Thanks for the clarification Melissa 🙂 I was so confused.

    Post # 18
    1428 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Niki – LOL…I was going to click on it to look & then didn’t for the same reason.

    Post # 19
    596 posts
    Busy bee

    I think the sense of "entitlement" is what shocks me the most.  People like her feel entitled to all the good things in life with all the trimmings, even though they can’t afford it.  Gosh, this attitude is what contributed to the mortgage crisis – people feeling entitled to owning homes that they couldn’t pay for in the end.  And now taxpayers have to contribute to the bailout!

    Post # 20
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Yea. . . . . . NO. . . I’m sorry but of all the things to donate to, as in Diabetes research,cancer,homelessness,orphans. . .yes. . . . . poor bride??? I think not.

    Post # 21
    773 posts
    Busy bee

    I think this really speaks to what wedding culture has become.  I mean, I know some people say they only want the wedding they can afford and it’s really all about two people who love each other coming together, but this girl is at least being honest enough to say "Hey, I want a wedding that the wedding industrial complex tells me to want whether I have the money for it or not." 


    I’m definitely guilty of wanting a platinum wedding– I mean, who doesn’t wish they had more money to spend on flowers/the perfect dress/ a giant champagne fountain?


    Frankly I would never donate money to something so frivolous, but I think you have to look at this for what it is.  We are constantly told- this is what a wedding should be like.  This girl can’t afford a "good wedding" so she’s asking for donations.  You can’t say she’s a bad person for that.

    Post # 22
    69 posts
    Worker bee

    my only word for that is..


    Post # 23
    1149 posts
    Bumble bee

    Obviously this wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but I hope we can discuss it without using derogatory terms.  Thanks in advance. 

    I wonder if she was operating from the "it never hurts to ask" principle?   Or rephaps she was hoping to get enough publicity that wedding vendors might want to donate their services because of the exposure it might get them?  

    Post # 24
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    To each their own. At least she’s not lying about what the money is for. You can choose to donate or not. I personally would not. It’ll be interesting to see how much she gets!

    Post # 25
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    Look, I can see how this can seem abrasive to some people. At first, I was very judgy-wudgy (someone…name that reference!) but then…

    I realized some of my judgement came from jealousy! Why didn’t I think of this and do it myself!! It seems like it is actually working which makes me even madder (not at her, at me for not thinking of it!).

    So, tacky, not tacky, whatever. You can anonymously get free money. If we’re really, seriously being honest with ourselves…who wouldn’t take free money. Come on now… 

    Post # 26
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @MrsSpitzer: SATC!!

    Post # 27
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    What MrsSpitzer said!

    Honestly, People have asked for free money for worse things. Yes, i think she should have tried to figure out how to have a wedding she could be happy wiht on a budget she could afford.  but now shes goign to build a name for herself on top of getting her wedding (partially) paid for. Who knows. You may be seeing her with a budget wedding show on bravo this time next year. I only wish i had though of it first. T*cky, yeah. But in the long term it could really work out for her.  My family would have been proud (for real.  they love marketing. and this my dear Bees is marketing!)

    Though if you look, Paypal has shut down her account. hmm… where will she go from here?

    Post # 28
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I agree there’s no harm in it, and if a stranger who loves weddings wants to give her money for chivari chairs or the surf-and-turf entree, to each their own.  But what really got my goat reading her blog was her dismissive, unkind attitude towards weddings she considers "cheap" (i.e. around $20,000).  Apparently, if you serve chicken or have a brunch reception, you might as well not get married at all.  (I’m not having a brunch reception, but I wanted one!  Who doesn’t love stuffed French toast and mimosas?)  If that’s not what she wants, she’s entitled to her preference, but did she have to be so nasty about simple weddings in order to justify her search for donations?  

    Post # 29
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I can think of better ways for me to spend a few bucks, but I thought it was kind of amusing/interesting.  I mean, I would never do it myself, but it is an interesting social experiment.  And only people who want to donate will donate.  Is it really any worse than a Today show wedding? 

    I wonder how much she has made so far. 

    Post # 30
    278 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m partial on this one.

    I’ve heard of a bride asking for gift donations prior to the wedding.  I thought it was somewhat tacky but no one thought it was appalling.  Asking for donations of a buck or two doesnt’ seem that bad though – it’s kind of funny! 

    Post # 31
    405 posts
    Helper bee

    Nope, no way. In my opinion if you need to ask for donations you should cut back your wedding. The only reason Fiance and I are even having a big (to us) wedding is because his parents are giving us the same amount as they gave their daughter for her wedding and we were told to use it as we please. Fiance & I actually talked about why our wedding became bigger – I told him when I said I’d go to the courthouse it was because that’s all we could afford to do, now we can afford to do more so why not?

    I wouldn’t be offended by her tactics but I wouldn’t donate & I wouldn’t go. I’d rather give my $ to Cancer research or something!

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