(Closed) Donating money you receive as wedding gift (spinoff)

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If it was a charity that almost everyone would support (orphans, homeless, cancer research, etc.) I would be fine with it.  If it was more political in nature I would be pissed. 

Post # 33
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

In the end it’s the couples choice to do whatever they want to do with their gifts but I do think that the guests should be made privy to what the plan is. Like a bunch of PP’s said in the other thread, a lot of people already donate their own money to charities of their choosing so when they write out their check to give to their friends for their wedding, they assume that the money will be going to them. If I was about to attend a wedding where the couple was planning on giving away/donating all of their gifts then I would want to know so that I could select a more appropriate gift for the occasion. If I scrimped and saved for weeks to be able to write that $250 check to my friends and then I find out that they just gave it away, I would probably be very annoyed since if that were the case, I wouldn’t have been so generous. Maybe that makes me a bad person since I wouldn’t give as much to a charity as I would my loved ones but that’s just how I roll.

Also, choosing charities can be tricky. While there are countless ones out there that I do/would support, there are also quite a few that I would NEVER willingly give a penny of my money to. If I found out after the fact that my money went to one of those charities then I would be pissed.

I think the OP of that other thread should let her guests know about her plans to donate their money so that they can plan accordingly. 

Post # 34
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@knvprincess143:  I think you have great intentions, but I do think it’s nice to let the guests know you plan on donating the money (just like I stated on your original thread).  I did tell our guests what we did or planned to do with the money in each and every thank you card I wrote. We didn’t plan out what we would spend it on before we even received it like you have.  I can honestly say that we have only used it for items we registered for and did not receive, or kept it in the bank account for our delayed honeymoon.  

My best friend was married about a month ago and they have everything they need. Because of this they asked people to donate to their favorite charities (giving them three different choices: one supporting animal welfare, environment issues, and another supporting alzheimer’s, a cause near and dear to my friend’s family).  They had about 300 guests at the wedding, and have raised over $30k for these charities!!! So on average the guests are donating $300 a piece.  I like that you had a choice to choose the charity, or split your donation however you wanted between two or three (they used a special charitable donation website for this that made it super easy and you could leave messages for the newlyweds too!).

I think it’s less deceptive to tell guests you plan to donate the money rather than spend it on yourselves (probably their intention in gift giving).  I agree with others though, that it’s yours once you receive it to do as you please.  But consider this: my father donated money to one of the charities at my friend’s wedding…he did it through his employer because they match dollar for dollar his donation, so essentially my father ended up doubling his donation simply because he knew ahead of time ($750 total!!!!).  I highly doubt my father would have given them a cash gift of $750.  So in this case, the charity benefited because guests knew about the donations beforehand…just saying 🙂

Post # 35
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@knvprincess143: Actually, yes, when we wrote our thank you notes to the guests who gave us money, we told them exactly what we did with it. 

Post # 36
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@galloway111:  But what if their ‘life’ involves giving and charity?

Post # 37
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@OhBeeHive84: Not sure why you’re singling me out, since a lot of other posters that agree with my opinion already answered it… but I think it’s the intention of the money. Would the couple be giving that same amount of money to charity if they hadn’t received the gifts? It’s one thing to donate annually to a charity you support or something, bu as many posters mentioned it just seems like regifting this way.

And like @linguo42:, I write what I do with the money in my thank you notes.

Post # 38
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

wouldn’t bother me at all………except that if it went to charity, I wish I had the tax-write off instead! haha!

Post # 39
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I wouldn’t care.  I also don’t see how this would ever be an issue unless the couple went around telling other people about the donation.  Anonymous donations are accepted at most charities, so no one would have the chance to be offended if the couple keeps their mouths shut. 

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