Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2018 - Pantagis Renaissance
My fiance and I are planning on donating to the Lumos Foundation in lieu of favors!! I know that favors aren’t obligatory, but we still feel like a donation would be pretty cool.
My question is, what’s a typical amount?
Post # 2
Can’t you just donate? If I got some notice at a wedding that a couple had donated in lieu of favors I’d be like what?
Post # 3
MrsGoldenSnitch : Not sure of the typical amount but I really liked this when my cousin did it. They wrote it on the escort cards that in lieu of favors they have donated to the American Heart Association. My aunt has had quadruple bi-pass and both of my grandfathers suffered major cardiac events.
Post # 4
MrsGoldenSnitch : I don’t get this TBH. If you want to make a donation make one without telling the world that you are doing it instead of favors. Nobody misses favors at a wedding so you can just donate without explaining why.
I assume that if you would have spent 5 dollars per favor for a hundred guests that you would donate 500 dollars. If you chose to donate only 300 dollars but would have spent 500 dollars on favors if you had gone with that then your little card should read;
…in lieu of favors we donated only part of the sum to X Charity/Foundation…
I think that it should be at minimum the cost of what you would have outlaid for favors. Anything else would seem to be disingenuous to me personally.
Post # 5
I’ve only ever seen it where guest were asked to donate in lieu of gifts.
Post # 6
Donating and bragging about it seems the opposite point of a donation.
Post # 7
This has been on the bee a lot before. The general consensus seems to be if you want to donate instead, go ahead. No need to publicize that you’ve given the guest’s favor to a charity instead of them. They’d be none the wiser without the note, and there’s no reason to highlight charitable donations.
Post # 8
It’s very common to do and i think it’s nice to mention to your guests. Some may think they cheaped out with favours – but a lot of the time if they’re not edible favours just end up left behind or on a shelf collecting dust. With the donation – you can donate whatever you can afford. If it’s $100 than that’s fine – you don’t need to tell the guests the $ amount. (image from google)
Post # 9
I will absolutely roll my eyes if the bride and groom tell me that. My favor is for me, it is not for you to decide to make it into a donation. You are welcome to give me some money, and tell me I can donate it, but you shouldn’t donate it for me.
You don’t have to give me favor either.
Why don’t you donate some money from your other budget? There is really no need to tell anyone you’re donating anything.
Post # 10
I thought the point of doing something “in lieu” of something was to give something up that was meant for you, not meant for others. Like asking for donations in lieu of gifts. If you dont’ want to do favors, don’t do favors, no one is going to miss them. But I don’t see the point of pointing out you wanted to do a donation instead of a small token favor to your guests.
Post # 11
MrsGoldenSnitch : Why do you have to publicize the donation? Nobody is going to think you “cheaped out with favors”, they’re probably not even going to notice it. I couldn’t care less if I don’t get some trinket to take home. But you can’t really say “as a favor to YOU, we gave money to OUR chosen charity.” It’s wonderful that you gave the money and I wouldn’t rather you spent it on me, but it’s not a favor to me. Just make the donation. There’s no need to bring your wedding or wedding guests into it.
Post # 12
I think if I ever go to a wedding where a donation has been made in lieu of favors, I will switch out the check so that I can make a donation in lieu of a gift.
Make the donation, and if you want to publicize it, put out a sign somewhere that says, “To celebrate the day, we have made a donation to XYZ. We like this place because blah. If you’d like to learn more, please visit [website].”
Leave off in lieu of favors, and just don’t give any.
Post # 13
Just donate if that’s what you want to do. You don’t need a public pat on the back for your charritable giving.
You don’t have to explain to your guests why you chose not to have favors. No one cares.
Post # 14
I would discourage this. It is a faux pas for all the reasons PP mention. Favors are in no way necessary, but it’s never gracious, not even for charity, to tell people you considered giving them a present but decided against it. Donate to the causes that are important to you. Don’t presume to know what causes other people would support.
Post # 15
pinkshoes : “lieu” is French for “place”. So “in lieu of” just means “in place of”. The phrase itself has no connotation of sacrifice. For some reason people tend to use it mostly in situations where someone is asking for something charitable instead something for themself, but that’s not what the word means. I could ask you to buy me some cigarettes in lieu of tithing at church. Not altruistic, but it’s correct usage of the word. If I need to do laundry, I could wear a swimsuit bottom in lieu of panties. Tonight I’m using Greek yogurt in lieu of sour cream in a recipe.
I think you’re right that there’s no need to point out if they make a donation.