(Closed) Donation favors – what would you do if you disagreed with the organization?

posted 7 years ago in Favors
Post # 3
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t do anything.  I mean, what could you do?  Go up to the bride on her wedding day and start a conversation on the ethics of an organization that was close to her heart? I might privately complain to my husband about it.  Some things you just have to let go! 

Post # 5
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’d just ignore it. At least I didn’t actually put my own money into the organization lol.

Post # 6
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I never thought about it.  I’d probably let it go.  I’m not sure how donation favors work, but my guess is they probably don’t name every guest one-by-one.  Someone correct me if I’m wrong on that, though. 

Post # 8
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@tntrav44: That’s a good point – that would take forever! You’ve got to let it go. They’re not going to take the money back, even if you complain.

Post # 9
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d be annoyed, especially if it was an organization I outright opposed.  But I would just grumble about it privately. 

I’m curious if this happens often?  If I were to do donation favors, I would make sure it was to something fairly non-controversial – like the rescue group we adopted our cat from, or hte homeless shelter where I worked.  There are other groups that I personally give money to (like Planned Parenthood) that I would never use for favors, since I know how much that would offend some people.

The one exception I can think of – I would seriously consider donating to a marriage equality organization, since a wedding seems like a particularly apt time to do that.  Some people might object to that, but to me it seems like such a basic issue of justice that I might do it anyway.

(This is moot for me, since we’re not doing favors at all.)

Post # 10
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve actually wondered about this too.  Most of the time, I’ve seen brides use charities like the Canadian Cancer Society…which is something most people wouldn’t argue about. 

I wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t agree with the choice of location…well, maybe I’d complain about it afterwards, but I would never say anything to the bride.

We did donation favours and had a really…disparate group of people attending our wedding (trust fund kids, farmers, teachers, factory workers, PhD students…you get it), so what we did was give people a choice of four charities.  They checked (anonymously) the charity of their choice.  We thought it gave the guests a bit more control.  🙂

Post # 11
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Favors aren’t mandatory. Getting a little gift is a nice bonus, but are certainly not necessary. Guests are already getting free food, drink, entertainment, etc. So I think it’d be really tacky for anyone to be like “umm you know the generous charitable donation you made in my honor, i don’t agree with it.” lol

Post # 12
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@abbyful: One of my close friends did something like this. Everyone had a woven ball at their place setting and she had big apothecary jars set up, one for each charity with info about each charity on a big board. You would go up, choose your charity, and put your ball in the appropriate jar. They counted all the balls and donated based on percentages I believe (so if they had an overall donation of $1000 and 50% of the balls went into the WWF vase then $500 got donated to WWF, etc). It was pretty neat and everyone really loved the interactive nature of it!

Post # 14
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I wouldn’t say anything to the couple, but I’d probably make a donation or do some volunteer work later for an organization I do support to “make up for it”. Luckily, all the couples I know who did donation favors selected non-controversial charities.

Post # 15
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s not my decision to make! I wouldn’t be annoyed/pissed off – its just a “favor” donation, not like my name is on a wall supporting an orginization that I disagree with. IMO, this is not a big deal at all 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I have thought of doing this but we would do the MS Society, since FI’s sister has MS and my Uncle does as well. but i like the idea of having 3 or 4 to pick from!

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