Post # 17
to me it just seems unrelated or out of place… yay we are getting married, so we are donating to the pet rescue!
i am an animal lover and huge supporter of our local rescue. but I wouldn’t consider making a donation as a wedding favor to my guests… it just seems out of place. if you can afford it, please continue to support that organization, but it doesn’t have much to do with your marriage or wedding day.
Post # 18
There are other things to give as favors than cheap crap from China! You shouldn’t just assume that is what someone would give, it’s kind of insulting.
Post # 19
I agree with those who say to do whatever you want to do, but don’t announce it to your guests.
The reasons have already been listed.. by other bees.. bad taste to announce a donation.. it’s not really being donated in “their name”, making it even less of a “favor”.
On top of those, many might not support or agree with whatever charity you decide to donate to.
Donating to charity is never bad, however, I personally only donate to charities were 90%+ actually goes towards the cause, which isn’t the case for MANY charities.
Post # 20
I don’t like it when couples put a little card on the table patting themselves on the back for the gift they didn’t give me.
I’m fine with them using the favor budget for charities–shelter dogs or starving children or Planned Parenthood will be able to use that money a lot better than I’ll be able to use a shotglass with the couple’s name on it–but to say it’s “in my name” is a bit disingenuous.Unless you take a vote, none of your guests have anything to do with your decision to give, so if you are going to do so, do it privately.
Plus, I’ve heard at least two stories where the couple never actually gave the donation…they just said that they did. Now I always wonder.
Post # 21
That is a wonderful idea!!! I agree favours are a waste of money And an unnessecary expense. I think it would be nice to have a little frame with the information or little cards saying in lieu of favours. I don’t understand the objection about donations or it being announced in any form.
Post # 22
The problem is we were originally getting married in October, got pregnant (due in July), and are moving the wedding up to March. We had 60 jars of homemade jam we were going to use as favors…we will have about 120 guests. What do we do with these 60 jars? You can’t get someone a cool jar of jam and someone a box of Hershey’s kisses…I’m just trying to come up with a creative idea.
Post # 23
You don’t have to give the jam to anyone.. or give it away just as gifts unrelated to the wedding. I wouldn’t think twice if someone got jam and I got candy… I have 0 interest in jam so I’d want the candy anyway. There’s no need to give out favors at all.
Post # 24
@pierce8: I’m not a fan of the donations as favors.
By all means, skip the favors and make a donation to the rescue league but I wouldn’t try to present it as some sort of gift to your guests because it’s really not.
Its not charming to tell people you considered getting them a gift but decided against it. Also, it’s a bit presumptuous to think that everyone will support your pet charity. They may have objections to your selected organization or just feel there is one much more worthy. Lastly, I think the donation in lieu of favor is rather self-aggrandizing – it kind of comes off as “look how thoughtful and generous we are!” which again, does nothing for your guests.
I love the idea of a donation to a rescue league and agree its money much better spent than on favors. I doubt anyone will even notice or care if you skip favors so just do and say nothing and quietly make the donation.
Post # 25
We made a music CD for our favors and just put them in a basket for people to take as they left. We had a LOT left over, lol.
So maybe you could do the same? Rather than having favors at each place setting, put the jam and maybe a second selection in a basket or on a table and let people take one if they like. Not everyone will take one and couples might assume it’s one jar per couple. If you just do the jam and you run out, big deal.
Post # 26
+1 If you want to do a donation, great. If you don’t want to have favors, that’s fine too (I’m not having them). Just don’t combine the two. No one misses favors, but no one feels honored by a donation that is a tax writeoff for you.
Post # 27
Unless you wrote and sang all the songs on the CD, that’s a copyright violation to distribute music you don’t own, so I wouldn’t encourage others to do it.
Post # 28
Huh, no kidding. I had no idea. But at any rate, I wasn’t encouraging the OP to do a music CD, I was suggesting she use the same method of giving out her jam favors by using a basket or table and allowing guests to take one or not as they left the venue.
Post # 29
Ah, OK, that makes sense – honestly, not everyone takes the favors so putting them on a table like that is a good idea.
Post # 30
@pierce8: I know this is a controversial idea (which I find funny – like, “No!!! Me having a $3 pot on honey is more important that charity!!!!”), but with a nice neutral charity, like an animal rescue, I think you’re fine.
I think it is nice to know that money that would be going to me is going to help a kitten instead, so I also promote putting a little note about it on each table.
Post # 31
I think this is entirely a matter of opinion. Our friends are huge dog lovers (had their own dog in the very formal wedding. They did the donation thing, and created a card with photos of every guests dog. It made it feel so special, as though they were thinking about my little evil terrier when they made the donation. I’m not sure if it was tacky, but personally, it did mean more to me than the 3 peices of overpriced delicious chocolate I would scarf down on my way home from the wedding.