Post # 1
We have met with our priest a few times now, and the donation/cost has not officially been brought up. What makes our situation a bit more unique is that we will be married at a historical church where we must bring in our own priest, and we decided to go with a priest who was recommended to us, so he is not from neither of our parishes. This brings me to the dilemma we currently have, since we have separate fees, one for the church and one for the priest, we have yet to be clear on how much we donate to the priest. Do we bring it up? or wait for the priest to? And if it is left at our discretion, for example a suggested donation, etc., should we stick to that or donate more? Very confused on this, and would appreciate some help. Thanks!
Post # 3
Well, our Pastor is someone that my Fiance has known his entire life. I’ve only been to church a handful of times in my life, so I’m not a thousand percent sure on any of this. My Future Father-In-Law, got married recently, and he gave our Pastor (who is also his) $200, for both him and to be equally split with the church. Needless to say, our church is very small, so the Pastor showed up at the reception with $200 in a card. As far as you, I would say the same thing. I think it is a reasonable amount, but if you can afford more, then go for it.
Post # 4
Could you call the priest’s home parish and ask the parish secretary? I think priests are notoriously ambiguous on this topic, but parish secretaries will usually clue you in on all the details of what’s expected. If the priest or the secretary gives you a figure, I think it’s totally up to you whether to pay exactly that amount or give a little more. If you really like the priest, and he does a good job, maybe pay a little extra as a “tip”?
For reference, i think our secretary said a normal gift would be $200 for our parish (we’re parishoners and knew the priest a little before getting married). My dad handed him $200 cash after the ceremony.
Post # 5
Personally (that’s just in my case; each case/parish may differ), I try to make sure the priest has $200 (or $300) after all the expenses he would have incurred for my wedding (e.g. traveling or lodging if needed)
Post # 6
Thank you all for the advice. Great idea on contacting and asking the parish’s secretary, will do, had not thought of it before.
Post # 7
My church has a donation of 500. the church down the road was a minimum of 200. Normally the church lets you know if it is required/recommended
Post # 8
Our requested/required donation for the priest was $400. That’s in addition to the fee for the church.