(Closed) donations vs registry

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

generally if you don’t register, people give cash gifts.

Post # 4
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@strawbs:  Yup agreed.  If you don’t have a registry and word of mouth spreads that there is no registry, people will gift you items they want you to have, or they’ll give you cash/checks.  It’s against etiquette to outright ask for money.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think if you call them “donations” it means your guests give money in your honor/on your behalf to a charity or third-party organization. You can register for donations through the I Do Foundation, but what you actually want are cash gifts, not donations.

And yeah, there’s no classy way to ask people for cash gifts, other than by not registering and letting your moms, etc., spread the word for you.

Post # 6
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@strawbs:  This.

Or people give you household goods you don’t want/need.

Further, you are not a charity, so these would not be donations. As such, if you want cash GIFTS, I would recommend doing a honeymoon registry and a very small household goods registry as not all people like to give cash. Without any registries in place, you run the risk of getting random stuff but you are likely to get cash too.

Post # 8
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

There is no polite way to flat out ask/register for cash.  The best way to make your preferences known is to have no registry or a small ( I recommend the latter because not everyone likes to give cash) and then spread via word of mouth that you are registered at X but are saving for Y.  People will get the hint.

Post # 11
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I would just not mention anything about a gift registry and let your guests give what they give.  As others have said, asking for money flat-out is a no-no.  Most people will at least give a card with a little somethng in it if there is no registry or buy something for you that they think you would like.  

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