Post # 1
Me and my SO, are both varily young (19), we’ve been dating for almost a year, and known each other for almost 4 years. We;ve been talking about getting married for awhile, but SO’s dad thinks we’re too young and that we would get divorced within a year, SO has never had a great relationship with his dad. But his mom and my family are supportive of the marriage, but want us to get married in the Mormon Temple (both of us are LDS), however, neither of us are worthy to get a reccomend. We’ve talked to both sets of parents about having a wedding now, then getting sealed (kinda like a vow renewal) on our one year anniversary, and I get the feeling that they think that we don’t deserve a big reception or ceremony. I guess I just need advice, I think a reception is a celebration of marriage, and I don’t want to wait to celebrate it. Help?
Post # 3
@ButterKnife143: I come from a very LDS as well. And while I am no longer practicing I understand the difficulty of wedding planning with them. I don’t know about your area but I have never really seen any huge wedding reception planned for a LDS wedding. Its always just a temple ceremony with more of an open house type of reception to follow at one of the church buildings. So for my family they just don’t understand planning a whole big reception and non temple ceremony.
I doubt your family thinks you don’t deserve that kind of hoopla its just to them the best thing in the world is a temple marriage and they really can’t fathom why you would want anything different.
If you don’t mind me asking, do you want the temple marriage? If you are a strong believer would it be so bad for you and your Fiance to take the year and become worthy so you can do the temple marriage the first time arround?
Post # 4
@Future Mrs. W:
I do want a temple marriage, I do believe in the church and I want to be with my Fiance forever. I’ve always dreamed about my wedding day and going to the Temple, but as it stands me and Fiance don’t think that waiting would help us be worthy. If anything, waiting to get married would make things worse. If that makes sense?
I don’t want a ‘big’ wedding, is 100 people big? I don’t know =/ But even if I get married in the temple the first time around, I don’t want to do the open house in a church thing. I think it’s tacky, and I don’t neccessarily want to share my big day with random people from my ward that I don’t know very well.
I also think that my parents are having a hard time with it because my older sister had a baby out of wedlock and she doesn’t really want to get married any time soon. So it’s kind of like rubbing salt in the wound. FI’s family all got married in the Logan temple, even a cousin from Texas, and it’s not my ‘dream’ temple. so I know that’ll upset them no matter what.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
If you want to break with tradition and your family’s expectations, you can do that. There is no law that says you have to do things in accordance with their wishes/desires/customs. The real question here is, are you prepared to stand up for what you (you and FI) want? Are you prepared to be independent enough to plan and pay for everything on your own? Are you prepared for the ramifications that come with rocking the boat, both within your own conscience AND with the responses of others? Looking back, will you regret not getting married in the Temple? Breaking with family traditions and cultural costoms isn’t an inherently good or bad thing. It’s one of many options available to you. Is it the RIGHT option for you? Only you can answer that.
Post # 6
One of my friends is LDS and was married in the temple at 19. She also had a reception in her hometown and his. I’m not sure what the problem is for you =( I thought this practice was fairly typical.