(Closed) Don’t do it!

posted 11 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Wow thats rude! I don’t think 24 is too young – we’ll be 25 when we get married!

Post # 18
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

I’m not sure it’s an age thing either; I think a lot of people are just down on marriage.

Post # 20
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

O my gosh! I am getting the same exact thing from every random person who asks about my ring! Its like really? you dont know me, my Fiance or our families. I too will be 24 on our wedding day and we will have a 2+ year engagement so I am always stunned to see people react as if we are running down the isle a week into everything. So sorry you are going through this as well, I completely understand how you feel. I have honestly heard ‘dont do it’ more than I have congrats

Post # 21
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Um, thats ridiculous. I think its rude regardless, but 24 isn’t that young to be getting married anyway.

Post # 22
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its funny how everyone will say 24 is too young, my mum was 19 when she was married (nearly 40 years ago) and my dad was 21. And at the time, it was the social norm at least here in Australia.

I fell pregnant with my first child  when I was 27.  I actually had the ultrasound confirming the pregnancy on my 27th birthday.  And my Mum was sad, and my Dad flipped out giving me the time to grow up and be responsible speech.  And it wasn’t because I wasn’t married, it was because they felt I was too young.  To me they reacted as though I was 16 and telling them……and I wanted to remind them that my mother had a 6 month old child at her 21st birthday!!!

I will be married when I am 31 (currently 29), and i almost feel to old to be a full on bride.  I always imagined I would be married by the time I was 26, but it didnt happen that way.  And the funny thing is that while I am starting to feel to old to be a bride, firends I went to school with are still busy partying it up and having one night stands.  They work to travel, and arent interested in making a home or a family, and long term relationships are far from their minds.

I actually keep running to the mother of a girl I was close to in high school.  She has gotten over the fact that her daughter will probably never to get married, but she can’t let go of being upset about the grand children her only child still hasn’t given here.  She looks at me pregnant with my 2nd and gets upset, and asks me to call her and tell her how wonderful and fulfilling kids are, I tell her i will. But I never call because I know this girl is to interested in partying and going on cruises and children aren’t even on her radar.

So it really does depend on the couple and where they are in their lives and in their level of maturity!  Don’t let them get you down, They obviously don’t understand where the two of you are in your life together 🙂

 

Post # 23
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry you had to deal with people like that!  I will be 22 when I’m married and my family couldn’t be happier.  Some of my co-workers (especially the guys) thought that I was WAY too young.

The only other problem I came across was my future sister-in-law.  When we told her we were having a year and a half engagement her comment was “why are you getting married so quickly?”  Most of the people I know plan a wedding in a year two at the most!

Post # 24
Member
3793 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

They told me the same thing and I’m 38.  People just like to rain in the cheerios of happy people!

Post # 25
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had my co-workers say this to me. They knew how old I was and how old my husband was. Granted, we didn’t date all that long before we got married, that doesn’t mean that ALL couples are doomed from wedding day. I had only known my husband a year on the day his proposed then a little over a month later we were married.

Post # 26
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Why are you worried what complete strangers say? Ignore them! It isn’t like you have to deal with them after that moment.

Please say that to me all the time and I will be 25 by the wedding date, turn 26 a week later, and the Fiance is 29. I had one guy even say to me “Ugh, don’t get married. It will ruin your relationship. I give it three years.” I actually laughed at him and said “Just because you fail at marriage doesn’t mean everybody does.” He got SO angry and left the bar we were in.

I don’t give much thought to negative people. It doesn’t matter if they are negative to me, to themselves, or what the subject is. If you are a negative person you don’t have any room in my life.

Post # 27
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I never really understood the grievances of young brides (having been one myself)…why do you care what strangers say to you?!?!?! They obviously have ZERO manners!! Basically, they suck =] Set them straight. You don’t have to put up with that.

Yes I had people tell me, “don’t do it” but people will ALWAYS tell you don’t do it! I was 23; been there, done that. I had a coworker sit me down and tell me why not to get married. I just thought, “what a crazy man”. And let’s face it, everybody has a crazy divorce story from a family or friend.

But you know, i have only had nothing but congrats from people who notice i’m married and ask how long i’ve been married. I have not heard a SINGLE negative thing since i’ve gotten those wedding bands on.

Post # 28
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Always keep in mind that there are some people that don’t mind giving their own opinion without thinking and considering others feelings. In any situation you can find something that didn’t work out for someone. Tuning them out will save you stress.

Post # 29
Member
958 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are in our late 20s and we get it all the time too.  Not for the age reasons, but you would not believe how many people will hear you’re engaged and start citing stats on divorce and infidelity.  It grosses me out.  Just say congratulations!!!

Post # 30
Member
4005 posts
Honey bee

Trust me, it’s not only an age thing! I was 27 when I got married and people still said that to me. I think that b/c they aren’t happy where they are, or bad things happened to their marriage, they think they can impose that on your happy time. Just let it roll off your back. Thank them for their “advice,” but let them know you won’t be taking it.

Post # 31
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have heard that too!  It is so annoying!  I will be 25 and he will be 24 when we get married.  I also get that from people when I say I want a bunch of kids – which I don’t normally tell complete strangers… Clearly, these people have issues.

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