- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Ladies, I have such a heavy heart today…
I don’t even know where to start. I find myself able to help other people with their problems, but my own troubles seem to stump me. I’m hoping writing this out is therapeutic for me.
I guess I’ll start off with the short version of how I got to the place where I don’t even know where my brother is living.
In January, my brother (38 years old) and his (shy of a year) girlfriend(39 years old) moved into a property my parents rent out. One which my brother has lived in many times over the years since he moved out of my parents house when he was 26.
It started off as a good arrangement. Cheap rent, close to downtown. They could save money. But my parents wanted to sell. They have since I lived there over 3 years ago. So they were starting to fix it up. This did not fly with my brothers girlfriend and after a series of events, we started to see the true nature of this girl. Malicious, manipulative, controlling and ungrateful (among other nasty things). I honestly would have to write a book to tell you everything that happened. I tried throughout the months between January and April to stay neutral. To hear out both my brother and my parents. I’ve known my parents for 24 years, I know they’re good people, and I know how they deal with bad situations. They are honest and fair people. I’m not being biased. This girlfriend started posting nasty comments on her facebook about my parents and my brother didn’t do a damn thing about it.
I confronted her in private, and the public facebook comments turned into nasty things about me, calling me out to “challenge her”. I don’t put up with shit like that, so I deleted her off my friends list. Then she blocked me, whatever.
I had dinner with my brother in April and I explained to him how my parents felt, how I felt, trying not to be emotional about it, just stating facts. Showing him the comments and asking him what he thought of them. Asking him why he hadn’t asked her to take the comments down, as they are his parents she’s talking about. How hurt our mom was, and that she felt the girlfriend was trying to cut my brother out of our lives. By the end of the night I told him I loved him and that if he needed me for anything I was always around. I really thought things clicked. I thought he saw the lies clearly. The malicious inentions were no longer clouded to him. I laid out all the proof and he seemed to agree.
They moved into a basement with a few friends. Finally the housing stresses were gone, and me and my parents could breathe easy because now she couldn’t blame us for anything. We figured that now he would finally see who she really was. She couldn’t alienate us anymore, and the only person left, were the friends they moved in with, and then my brother.
We decided to give him space, and when he was ready he could come back and we could start over. maybe it was just a bad few months.
I haven’t talked to my brother since April… I got one text message asking if I wanted to hang out for a game (D&D, lol… we’re geeks). I was so excited that he finally started communicating again. I went, but we hardly talked because we were both playing the game. After the game we went home and I didn’t hear from him again for two weeks when i got another text message asking to play another D&D game. I couldn’t make it, and I never heard back an “ok, maybe next time” “too bad, talk to you soon”. Nothing. That was early June.
One of their main issues was always money. They couldn’t afford lightbulbs. My brother (just recently) couldn’t afford a WRENCH to fix a flat tire on their car. But, I just saw this morning on facebook that they adopted a dog. A rescue dog. I may also mention that my brother didn’t take his son for the usually length of time this summer because “they can’t afford it”. But they can smoke, and go drinking, and pay cover to see a band.
I’m sorry this is so long. I’m so hurt right now. I want to cry. My wedding is in 2 months. Half of me is scared to invite my brother because if he RSVP’d no, I would be crushed, but the other half of me is so hurt and angry at everything he’s put my parents through and put his son through, and put me through, that I don’t even want to invite him. Which hurts me to say that. Then I realized this morning, thinking all this through, I don’t even know where to send the invitations…