- 6 months ago
Hi Bees. So I’m going to try and consolidate this as best I can: Basically, I feel and believe that some of my husband’s family doesn’t like me (his sister- My sister in law, and my husband’s brother’s girlfriend…most likely soon-to-be-fiance). I get along with his parents just fine, so lets just focus on these two women for a moment:
A little background- I grew up in a suburban area…nice city, top rated schools. I’m more of a city, girly type of woman. His family and the women in his family are from “the sticks”. They’re more outspoken, ‘rough-around-the-edges, more tom-boyish. And that’s exactly how my husbands sister is and his brother’s girlfriend. Now, I’ve been “in the family” going on for 4 years now. My husbands brother started dating his girlfriend 2 years ago. But ever since this girl came into the picture, it seemed like I was forgotten because I’m not “like” them. My sister and law and the brother’s girlfriend get along amazingly. When we’re all together, they’re always engaging each other in conversation and leaving me left out. I have to constantly start conversations with them for them to speak to me and its usually one-liners and the convo ends there.
My husband’s sister has never warmed up to me for reasons I’m unaware of. I’ve always been pleasant, and love her kids as if they were my own. Despite our awkward relationship, I even asked her to be in my wedding as my bridesmaid (along with her children) because I wanted to connect more and hoped that would build our relationship. She seemed happy to accept at the time, but after that, she barely participated in any of the wedding activities. She never texted me how I was doing/how wedding plans were, if I needed help with anything, never communicated with the other BMs about my bridal shower, nothing. She didn’t sign my bridal shower memory book/advice cards. She showed up. That’s all I got from her. My husband and I didn’t even receive a wedding card from her and her husband! (Not to sound greedy, but also no ‘gift.’) Now same thing with my husband’s brothers girlfriend. The brother and girlfriend didn’t give us a wedding card either!! (Also, no ‘gift.’) WTH? I just found that extremely rude! But anyway, I digress..
So recently we were all together at my husband’s family camp. And I get this gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach every single time, because I feel completely outcasted. The brother’s girlfriend says passive aggressive things to me, but loves to talk with my husband. If I make a comment, she’ll interject right back with something passive aggressive. But the thing is, my husband has no clue! I’ve tried talking to him before, but he still isn’t getting it. My brother in law asked my husband to play ball, and the brothers girlfriend immedaitely gets up and is acting like her tomboyish self, but I think she does all this just to get attention! I’m more of a laid-back girl, who tries to act appropriately in front of company. I’m not going to curse like a sailor, and try to show off how “competitive” I am (like how this girl does). And like I’ve stated, I’ve always been nothing but polite and nice and have tried to start conversations with this girl, but I just get shut down. I have no idea why. So now I just hate going to see his family because I know I’m going to have to deal with that.
Any advice bees? I hate feeling like an outcast in my husbands family..especially when i’ve been in the “family” longer than this girl has been! But it looks like they will get married at some point as she recently stated she’s just “waiting for a pretty ring” (insert eye roll here). She’s an attention seeker, who is too chatty with my husband and disrespects me in a way that can go unnoticed if you’re not paying attention..which my husband can be pretty good at lol. Is it me? I don’t know what else I can do to get my sister in law and my brother in law’s girlfriend to like me. I feel like they hate me because I’m “not like them” and think I’m too prissy (which I’m not). If this girl is going to be part of the family, I’d like to get along…just not sure what else to do.