Don't Feel Comfortable Around Husband's Family

posted 6 months ago in Married Life
Post # 31
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

rosadiaz :  “I just find it hypocritical to be classist and call country folk ‘inferior'”

 Well, there’s a reason I put the word “inferior” in quotation marks. 

Post # 32
613 posts
Busy bee

i think they may be jealous of you!

Post # 33
871 posts
Busy bee

I find it unsettling that you’re a teacher with your snobbery and gender stereotypes. 

Post # 34
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

obviousanonymous :  What do you think the quotation marks do?  You aren’t quoting OP because she never specifically said they are inferior.  That’s the interpretation you made, combined with calling them uneducated hillbillies.   Your entire comment reeked of classism. 

I mean, I would understand calling them uneducated or other unflattering terms if she had said they are racist or drug-addicts or something.  But all she said was they are rough around the edges and a bit tomboyish, foul mouthed and “from the sticks”.   This world takes all types, and I saw nothing in her description that implied these are bad people who are worthy of being disliked and ridiculed.

Post # 35
6638 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

OP- I agree that some of your assumptions about what kinds of behavior are “appropriate” and acceptably feminine (basically YOUR behavior) versus what is not (these other women) comes through really clearly in your post. It sounds like you just aren’t suited to these women. You judge them and do not like them. They do not like you and they aren’t willing to be fake nice to you because they don’t have your “appropriate” training. They tolerate you. But the new soon to be SIL actually fits in so they have a genuine connection.

I’m in agreement with those saying to just leave them alone and spend time with the people you get along with at these events. Maybe you will find more common ground down the road. Maybe not. Maybe one day you will get to have a big blowout discussion where you can clear the air and get on better footing. Maybe not. It does seem like a lot of wasted energy to spend time being fake nice to them at gatherings and dreading the time until the next one.

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