(Closed) Don't feel FI is even thinking of my feelings

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 …”and he dosent care about what I want or feel”

Are you sure this is the man you want to marry?  These issues are only going to get worse once you’re married.  You may love him but does he love you?  If he does love you is it enough to make you happy…it doesn’t sound like it.  “Love conquers all” is a myth.

Post # 3
9263 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
Babily:  My husband never makes me feel like this, and never did. I mean, maybe once or twice a year he might hurt my feelings, so not NEVER, but definitely not on any kind of regular basis. I wouldn’t have married him if I frequently wondered if he cared about me and my feelings or if he always got stressed and raised his voice when I tried to talk to him. It sounds like you’re walking on eggshells, which is no way to live life.

Post # 4
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
Babily:  Smh you two may need to seek professional therapy. If you can’t discuss simple things, I’d hate to see the outcome of a situation when life throws a hard ball. You two can’t even discuss anything in order to come to an agreement or compromise together. Why be with someone who doesn’t care? You have to love yourself enough to not settle for crap. Loving him isn’t going to resolve the issues at hand. You may find yourself on the brink of a nervous breakdown sooner than later. You two need help & if he won’t even agree to that, then idk what to tell you. 

Post # 5
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

You should never feel invalidated by the man you are going to marry. I think you should try premartial counseling.

Post # 6
6286 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

If you feel he doesn’t care about yout wants and feelings, you should not marry this man.

Post # 7
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017


I’ve read similar stories here on the bee. I feel for you, girl.

You don’t want to spend the next 10, 20, 30 years walking on eggshells and feeling emotionally neglected. Because if the situation doesn’t change, that’s what it’s going to be like for you. You have to nip it in the bud before it’s too late.

I’m not saying you should give up entirely on your Fiance and your relationship.  You could both benefit from premarital or couple counseling, it can do wonders. Trust me, I’ve been there. Ask him if it’s something he’s willing to do. If either a) the very thought of suggesting it scares you or b) he brushes it off or insults/berates you for asking, those are red flags. A committed partner should take their SO’s worries and concerns seriously, even if they themselves don’t think that therapy is needed, which can be the case sometimes.

I wish you all the best. Lots of hugs. Be strong.

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