Post # 1
Not sure why I am writing this more for a rant as Fiance has pissed me off again.
It’s been a rough few weeks between Fiance and I, we have had many disagreements, arguments etc. I have tried talking to him on many occasions about how I feel a lack of independance, how I am struggling with having a bigger wedding than what I wanted and it feeling so far away, I have tried to explain to him how everything we seem to do is for him and I dont get a say in the matter. Everytime I try and talk he gets very stressed, slightly raises his voice and I drop it as I don’t want another arguement, however, in my head it is constatly going around and it causes more friction.
Tonight, in bed, I tried to play with him tickling, laugh and joke with him trying to make it happy before sleep but could sense he wasnt in the mood so i turned over ready to go to sleep and then he complains that I am not giving him attention, so when I tried to say that I tried to play etc he said yes but I just wanted to relax like playing and laughing together isnt relaxing which pissed me off because it feels like its ok to play and joke when he is ready but not when i am 🙁
Now I am in the spare room writing this 🙁 because he is trying to sleep.
I just feel i love this guy so much and he dosent care about what I want or feel
Post # 2
…”and he dosent care about what I want or feel”
Are you sure this is the man you want to marry? These issues are only going to get worse once you’re married. You may love him but does he love you? If he does love you is it enough to make you happy…it doesn’t sound like it. “Love conquers all” is a myth.
Post # 3
My husband never makes me feel like this, and never did. I mean, maybe once or twice a year he might hurt my feelings, so not NEVER, but definitely not on any kind of regular basis. I wouldn’t have married him if I frequently wondered if he cared about me and my feelings or if he always got stressed and raised his voice when I tried to talk to him. It sounds like you’re walking on eggshells, which is no way to live life.
Post # 4
Smh you two may need to seek professional therapy. If you can’t discuss simple things, I’d hate to see the outcome of a situation when life throws a hard ball. You two can’t even discuss anything in order to come to an agreement or compromise together. Why be with someone who doesn’t care? You have to love yourself enough to not settle for crap. Loving him isn’t going to resolve the issues at hand. You may find yourself on the brink of a nervous breakdown sooner than later. You two need help & if he won’t even agree to that, then idk what to tell you.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas
You should never feel invalidated by the man you are going to marry. I think you should try premartial counseling.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
If you feel he doesn’t care about yout wants and feelings, you should not marry this man.
Post # 7
I’ve read similar stories here on the bee. I feel for you, girl.
You don’t want to spend the next 10, 20, 30 years walking on eggshells and feeling emotionally neglected. Because if the situation doesn’t change, that’s what it’s going to be like for you. You have to nip it in the bud before it’s too late.
I’m not saying you should give up entirely on your Fiance and your relationship. You could both benefit from premarital or couple counseling, it can do wonders. Trust me, I’ve been there. Ask him if it’s something he’s willing to do. If either a) the very thought of suggesting it scares you or b) he brushes it off or insults/berates you for asking, those are red flags. A committed partner should take their SO’s worries and concerns seriously, even if they themselves don’t think that therapy is needed, which can be the case sometimes.
I wish you all the best. Lots of hugs. Be strong.