(Closed) Don’t know how I feel about…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think if she says your wedding will be a priority then for right now take her word on it.  If it starts to become an issue later on, sit down and talk with her about it.  You don’t seem to expect that much of her (which is great) and realize that you still have a while to get things done.  I say trust her that she can handle both and as I said, if it starts to seem like she can’t, just talk with her about it.  

Post # 4
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think it’s important to respect that one of her friends is getting married too! Yes, she is your sister, and I’m sure she’s super excited to be in your wedding, but her friend is also someone she cares about, and it’s okay for her to be excited about both weddings (and in both!)

I do think it’s good you found out about this early though, because you can be realistic about your expectations for her. Sister or not, maid of honor or not, the title of bridesmaid doesn’t mean she has an obligation to help you with wedding related tasks. Many friends and sisters are happy to help with these things, but since you recognize that she may have other stuff going on (heck, if she’s graduating this spring, she’ll probably still be in the adjustment phase to working full time, etc. provided she finds a job right away!), you can be realistic about what you ask her for help with, and accordingly, what you plan to do (and when you plan to get it done).

Post # 5
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I can definitely relate to this, definitely. 

She said that your wedding will take precendece, then you’ll have to trust her word on it.  As an Maid/Matron of Honor, they have a little bit more responsibility than the actual BM; so the work involved will probably not interfere with eachother.  (unless your friend is one of those bridezillas that makes their BMs do everything) lol  But, those type are usually saved for the show, so not to worry.  Wink

But, the fact is, you’re right … you need to be understanding that she’s doing another wedding.  We all hate to admit it sometimes, but sharing a wedding is not a problem for us … as long as its with someone on these boards rather than in person.  Hehehe, and even more so, sharing a Bridesmaid or Best Man with someone (who happens to be your MOH) is even harder! 

If things start looking like they’re going in the wrong direction and she’s not able to be around, (bc of school, the other wedding, etc) you need to sit down and talk to her.  Again, I understand because I will be having the same conversation with my Maid/Matron of Honor this Saturday (she warned me, I waited to see how it would pan out, and unfortunately, my situation needs a talking).  But, she’s my sister and we communicate well.  Bottom line is our sisters really do want us to be happy, so if we need to chat about it … they’ll be open to it.  🙂  Keep your head up!

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