Post # 1
Hi everyone! I’m a longtime lurker but I decided to actually post to get an opinion on what everyone thinks. My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. She’s really busy right now finishing up her senior year of college, so we don’t really do a lot of wedding-related stuff (which is fine since its not until August anyway). I just found out last night that she is a bridesmaid in her friends wedding two weeks before mine. I told her that was going to be expensive and a lot of work, but she just responded sarcastically saying that mine would take precedent. I’m not feeling that upset about it but I sort of feel like I should… I’m just afraid that if I need some help with something, she might be busy with another wedding. I really can’t ask her not to do the other wedding, and in my experience it isn’t that much work being a bridesmaid/MOH, but I figured I’d get some other opinions. Thanks!
Post # 3
I think if she says your wedding will be a priority then for right now take her word on it. If it starts to become an issue later on, sit down and talk with her about it. You don’t seem to expect that much of her (which is great) and realize that you still have a while to get things done. I say trust her that she can handle both and as I said, if it starts to seem like she can’t, just talk with her about it.
Post # 4
I think it’s important to respect that one of her friends is getting married too! Yes, she is your sister, and I’m sure she’s super excited to be in your wedding, but her friend is also someone she cares about, and it’s okay for her to be excited about both weddings (and in both!)
I do think it’s good you found out about this early though, because you can be realistic about your expectations for her. Sister or not, maid of honor or not, the title of bridesmaid doesn’t mean she has an obligation to help you with wedding related tasks. Many friends and sisters are happy to help with these things, but since you recognize that she may have other stuff going on (heck, if she’s graduating this spring, she’ll probably still be in the adjustment phase to working full time, etc. provided she finds a job right away!), you can be realistic about what you ask her for help with, and accordingly, what you plan to do (and when you plan to get it done).
Post # 5
I can definitely relate to this, definitely.
She said that your wedding will take precendece, then you’ll have to trust her word on it. As an Maid/Matron of Honor, they have a little bit more responsibility than the actual BM; so the work involved will probably not interfere with eachother. (unless your friend is one of those bridezillas that makes their BMs do everything) lol But, those type are usually saved for the show, so not to worry.
But, the fact is, you’re right … you need to be understanding that she’s doing another wedding. We all hate to admit it sometimes, but sharing a wedding is not a problem for us … as long as its with someone on these boards rather than in person. Hehehe, and even more so, sharing a Bridesmaid or Best Man with someone (who happens to be your MOH) is even harder!
If things start looking like they’re going in the wrong direction and she’s not able to be around, (bc of school, the other wedding, etc) you need to sit down and talk to her. Again, I understand because I will be having the same conversation with my Maid/Matron of Honor this Saturday (she warned me, I waited to see how it would pan out, and unfortunately, my situation needs a talking). But, she’s my sister and we communicate well. Bottom line is our sisters really do want us to be happy, so if we need to chat about it … they’ll be open to it. 🙂 Keep your head up!
Post # 6
Thanks everyone! You’re all right… I do need to respect the fact that she is in both weddings for people she cares about. I guess I was just a little upset because she didn’t actually tell me she was in both weddings… she just casually mentioned that her friend was getting married two weeks before us and then I had to ASK if she was a bridesmaid. Oh well, I know I’m going to end up doing mostly everything on my own because that’s the type of person I am, so I’m not going to worry about it!