(Closed) Don't know how to deal with nasty co-worker!

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
8694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TopazTurtle:  Go to HR and say you are being harrassed in the workplace and are uncomfortable.

 

Post # 5
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ajillity81:  +1

..but maybe start with your manager and send the email to your manager asking for a private meeting from your personal email so she can’t track it.

Post # 6
Member
9652 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@ajillity81:  +1

Her behaviour is ridiculous, report her to the manager or HR!

Post # 7
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well, she sounds like a delight!  Nothing like an angry, bitter divorcee who loves attention.  My only advice for you is to continue to ignore her, and whenever you are feeling upset with her behavior, remind yourself that she is just an unhappy and jealous person and try to feel sorry for her (in your head) rather than feeling bad about how she acts.  It’s tough, but it does help!

Post # 8
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Document her unprofessional behavior and send an email to HR (for a paper trial).

Post # 9
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@TopazTurtle:  That sucks…we’ve got a Dragon Lady in our office too…she’s been here for years, is awful, terrible, critical and probably eats little baby sparrows for lunch…ANYWAY.  You’re looking at this all wrong. 

Everyone needs a villan, Snoopy had the Red Baron, Batman had The Joker and you have Nasty Pants with her big fat mouth….sure she sucks, but that means you are the GOOD GUY.  And good guys always win…..no matter what.

Take the stakes down a notch in your mind, because at the end of the day, if she can’t fire you, she’s just noise.  Remind yourself that if her life is so small and meaningless that tormenting you is all she has…you’re essentially what her life hinges on…which is neat.  Finally, keep your villan on their toes, mix it up with her, if she’s screaming, you’re leaving the room for a minute….if she’s ignoring you, go ask someone else, when she tells you to do your job, say, “You first.”

She can’t bother you if you don’t let her, and once you remove that power, they turn into mythical monsters from storybooks…and are just about as equally threatening…if nothing else fails, hide a camera, film her antics and e-mail the footage to HR…if she wants to play dirty….get your hands dirty

Post # 11
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nona99:  This.

If you ignore her, then she will continue doing what she does.  You’re allowed to stand up for yourself.  If this were me, I would flat out ask her what her problem is.

Post # 13
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Nona said it well.

I am by far the youngest clinician in this building…and sometimes I am made well aware of this. I get nastiness, get told that “when I’m their age” I’ll understand, etc. etc.

Guess what I do? Smile and give those bitches a big, wide berth. Why? When I get home, I’m not thinking about them. I come home and I am loved and comfortable. If I keep smiling and give them no fuel, they’re just miserable old bags that like to hear the wind come out of their bellows.

If you’re honestly that upset, I would make a complaint to HR. They have to hear you out on this…that’s what they’re there for.

Post # 14
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@TopazTurtle:  look at it this way. She’s miserable and angry all the time. She’s jealous and such. Let her be angry, and just ignore her. Don’t be affected by her behavior. As long as you don’t work under her, then you should be fine.

i guess the evil side in me is trying to tell you, you are way better than her and she’s just an angry bitch with a very sad life. Secretly smile inside of you that you have the capability to make her mad and annoy the hell out of her. But on the outside, maintain yourself and do good work. 

You don’t have to talk shit about her to other people. Just do good work and annoy the hell out of her. Don’t get sucked into her angry personality and play her game. 

Post # 15
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you file a complaint for harrassment to HR, they can’t shrug it off and say “that’s just her personality.”  It’s called “creating a hostile work environment”.  

Is it possible that she feels threatened by you? Maybe she feels like you could replace her at some point, so she’s hell bent on pointing out any and all mistakes you make??  Just a thought…

 

Good luck, I’d definitely go talk to HR. 

Post # 16
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I mean, she’s only making herself look bad. Yeah, it’s super annoying, but as long as you do your job and do it well you’re golden.

My advice would be to address things as they come up. When she critiques your clothing, just say something like “If you believe my outfit to be inappropriate, please take it up with HR, I’ve not had anyone mention to me that it’s inappropriate.” When she complains about anything else, just say, “I’m sorry you feel that way” and walk away. If she’s yelling in the office just say, “Excuse me, I’m trying to make some phone calls, would you mind lowering your voice a bit?” If you give her attention, she’ll continue to act up, if you show maturity and keep it professional, she’ll only continue to make herself look ridiculous.

First take issues up with her, gently. Then, if the behavior persists, take it up with HR.

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