(Closed) Don't know what I will do if it doesn't come over the holidays

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wish I’d had this site when I was a waiting bee. It’s a horrible feeling, torture, really. Just today I found an old email from right before he proposed where I was freaking out and he said

“How I wish I could just hold the side of your face and tell you I’m making my way to that. Just believe me ….”

but, I didn’t believe him and I threw a fit and it ended with him telling me he’d planned on buying the ring the very next week. He actually proposed two weeks later.

To all you waiting ladies, please hold on and try not to spoil it like I did.

 

 

Post # 18
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I was with my now fiance for seven years before he proposed.  I didn’t feel it was a long time because we were 18 years old when we got together so getting married before graduating from college wasn’t in my plans.  Now that we are both 25 (still young but not too young) I feel ready and I’m soooo happy he proposed.

What I’m trying to say here is that maybe he does want to marry you but maybe right now is not the right time for him and rushing him might just cause problems in the future.  By saying this I don’t want to say it’s okay for you to wait on him forever.

Post # 19
Hostess
2998 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am with ya sister!  I thought it was going to be around Christmas but he family is coming in and stayin with us so I really doubt it will.  He said he is waiting for the right time, but what about MY time….all the time I’m wasting by waiting around.  The holidays are supposed to be a fun time and I feel like they are kinda getting ruined this year!

Post # 20
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

if he has the ring he will do it. he’s leagues ahead of most of our SO’s!

Post # 21
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You are not alone. Our 3 year anniversary is coming up next month and if the proposal isn’t done by the time the first week in January is up, I’m going to have some words with my SO.

Post # 22
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

I am in the same boat. Went months ago to look at rings he told me after that he was in contact with a jeweler and was getting it made. So far nothing has happened. Although, we have just recently booked our church and are in the process of booking a wedding venue. But I told myself I would not tell anyone until I had the ring on my finger so we are doing this all in secrecy the only people who know are our parents. Its very very hard for me I want to shake him some days and say what is taking you so long and cry my eyes out. This year has been extremely bad because of all the stress from waiting. I hope it comes soon for all us, i wish you luck!

Post # 23
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

@blueberries123:  +1 regarding feeling that way about the year. I saw a card that said “merry xmas, glad this ****ing year is almost over!” and was so tempted to send it to myself (or something) haha but thought nope, not feeding those negative emotions.

 

I don’t know what I will do if it doesn’t happen soon. My SO has thanked me like 3 times in the last 2 days for pushing him which is something I never thought would ever happen, ever. So that gives me a little less regret over how things went down.

Maybe I will just be proud of myself for getting over such a difficult time in my life since this has been really hard for me, and that’s the only positive spin I can think of to put on it. But oh well, I will still be an amazing person with a great future (and maybe even a new haircut?) even by myself, so I’ll still have that!

Post # 25
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I feel ya sister! 

I’m pretty much the same situation. 3 years together as well.  I felt some axiety about a proposal right around our anniversary in August.  Our anniversary came and went, no proposal.  At the end of the day I broke down, and we talked about it, and he said it would come, and not to worry about it.  

A few days later we talked about it rationally, and we agreed that I could expect a proposal by our next anniversary.  And the sooner I stop talking about it to him, the sooner it would happen (he wants it to be a surpise).  

Anyways (sorry about that… that turned into a bit of a vent, thanks for that! 🙂 ) I am starting to feel like that again, that anxiety and trying to prepare myself for the “what if it doesn’t happen”, of course I’ll wait, because he’s my best friend, but good lord thats hard!  

So I understand what you’re going through.  Keep strong!  And just try and enjoy where you are in your relationship, and trust it’ll be awesome when it all comes together 🙂

Post # 26
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

@radar:  will definitely update here.

@givemecouture sounds kinda similar to last xmas for me. he asked me to name the top 3 things i wanted. e-ring was number 1, a tablet was number 2 and a kindle was number 3. obviously he didnt pick number 1 since im posting here lol. instead he got me a kindle.

now a year later he complains i never use the kindle. well duh! it wasnt my first choice. smh.

there better be somethin sparkly this yr, good luck to everyone whose waiting this holiday!

Post # 27
Member
39 posts
Newbee

@angthrice:  I was wishing there was a “like” button on here when I read your comment! At least if he has the ring you know that he is seriously thinking about and probably just planning on the when. He wouldn’t have bought it if it he didn’t plan on giving it. 

But I’m totally in the same boat as you other anxiously waiting bees! I’m constantly thinking about whether I should tell him that a proposal is all I want to for Christmas. After 5 1/2 years, I figure that you either know that person is the one you want to be with or not! If I’m not that person for him, I just want to know so I can move on. I’m going to try to wait out the holidays as patiently as I can and if nothing happens…early January I will be having a serious sit down with my SO. 

Good luck to all the rest of you! Stay calm and try to find some joy in the holidays even if that proposal doesn’t happen like you hope.

Post # 28
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove

@radar:  I hear ya! Me and SO have been together about 5 years and he has the ring. Talk about anxiety: he doesn’t know that I know he has the ring. Dont set a walk date just yet, I know its frustrating and hard being asked every. single. day. “What no ring on that finger?” It’s torture. It sounds like it’s coming for you soon though!

If not Christmas maybe New Years? Be sure to keep us posted!

Post # 29
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You are not alone sister!! I can’t wait for this phase of our relationship to be OVER!!!

Post # 30
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@radar:  Wow, you could have taken the words out of my mouth, this is exactly where I’m at.  I can distract myself for good-long periods of time and find I haven’t been thinking about it at all (because its been so long-and I’m literally exhausted from waiting) and then as soon as I have a talk with my mom or dad, or if someone at work says something, I start to get really bugged and consumed with wanting it to happen again.

Almost EVERY person in my fricken life has already said “do you think he’ll propose on Xmas?”

plus our anniversary is on new years eve. I am praying he does it over the holidays, it would be so wonderful for me..and us really. We’ll have time off work + built in time to celebrate our engagement with the family. 

I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t propose by our anniversary. That will be a bummer. I don’t get why this process takes so long. Sometime I wonder if my guy is just dragging it out as long as he can get away with..

 

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