(Closed) Don't know what to do

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@beachgurl1237:  OMG this is a weird story =/ I can’t understand his behaviour BUT I can understand you feel really hurt cause of him. I think (it’s just my opinion) that he “proposed” to you just cause you were about to break up. Yeah it’s a bit stupid but some men do that. Anyway, what does he tell you when you try to talk about it? Is it a REAL engagement to him or just a story about “giving you a ring and that’s it”? Does he go mad as soon as you try to talk about the engagement? 

Post # 4
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Are you upset that you don’t have a “good” proposal story?  Men don’t always realized the importance of the “proposal story” and that everyone ask how it happened.  Should you break up with him over it, no.  I’m not certain though that you should cancel for other reasons, such as is this the man you really want to marry and spend your life with.  Did he go out and buy the ring for you in Feb because you were pressuring him or did he do it on his own?  Even if it was pressure some guys need it, all though in the end its not good to force it, we do want things to happen naturally. 

 

Post # 5
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like he proposed to you when you were fighting just to “shut you up” for lack of better wording…first, suggesting that you wear his ex’s ring until he can get you one? Lame. The ring is not be the important part of being engaged and so many women tend to focus on that. I would have thrown the ring back in his face, but that’s just me.  

I would have a serious conversation about this because honestly this doesn’t sound like a very happy engagement, and if it were me, I wouldn’t be too excited to announce it given all that you guys have argued since then. Talk to him and make sure that you guys want to be engaged and enroll in pre-marital counseling, whether your church (if you have one) requires it or not. It is a great way to deal with some issues that you may have. DH and I did it because we had to and weren’t very serious at first, but we found that we opened up about a ton of things with someone there that didn’t choose sides. It was actually fun.

Good Luck.

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i understand why you’re feeling hurt.  sometimes guys are just clueless. The guy just has bad timing…sounds to me like he really is sorry for messing the proposal up. My 2cents, tell him how you feel about not having a story behind it. I mean theres no rule that says he can’t ask you to marry him a second time round (and this time surprise you and spoil you rotten), just to make up for the lousy first time. I was in a similar situation. I eventually asked my fiance about whether he got me the ring because i pressured him and this was his words: “if i didn’t want to get you that ring, i wouldn’t have”. talk it out. share how you feel and try not to argue about it even though he is the one thats at fault and deserves getting his head bitten off…isn’t that what marriage is about, talking it out?

 

Sending you a great big internet hug!

Post # 8
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you love him, let it go. I think focusing on it will eat you away. You have to make peace that it doesn’t really matter in the long run how he proposed. I think what you should focus on is that he loves you and wants to make that commitment to you. I am   laid back on a lot of things, and tend to focus on the postive things instead of the negative–so that might be easier said.

The topic ‘Don't know what to do’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors