Post # 1
My Future Mother-In-Law is seriously bipolar when it comes to me. One minute she loves and the next she is trying to start a fight between Fiance and I. I refuse to confront her about it because I have seen her go off on people when they confront her and I don’t know what I would do if that happened. Fiance has talked to her about most of the stuff she pulls (she really only listens to him about anything) but I just feel like it keeps happening. I don’t want to stop seeing her because when she is in her love alyssac mood it is great but when she isn’t it just sucks. Any advice other then confronting her because that would probably take the loving moods away 🙁
Post # 3
@alyssaC: IDK but I do agree with you on not confronting her. What do you usually do when she is in her I’m out to get you mood? Do you avoid her?
Post # 4
Kill her with kindness. Make her forget why she acts like crap.
Post # 5
most of the time when she does it there isn’t anywhere to go to get away from her. I usually just keep to myself and try not to talk to much when she does it. I just have no idea what to say to her when she does these things. Like today she did it at a game night my mom puts on for all her friends. Fiance wasn’t even around and she out of nowhere told me that I make him mad when I bring up his dad (thats a story in itself) And she knew hearing about this from her would upset me because when we first started dating he had hard time coming to me with issues he had with me and going to his mom and telling her about them. Most of our fights when we first started dating were about him going to his mom with OUR problems and not me. It has gotten a 100X better and we almost never fight now. But she knows it still upsets me and that is a source of conflict between us so when she told me that I was like why the h*ll wouldn’t he tell me that, he knows I would stop if it bothered him. So I just went quiet becasue I was mad and embaressed that she would say this infront of 12 other women. But I texted Fiance and he told me he never he said anything about me making him mad and only that I had been bringing his dad up a lot a lately. I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 6
I don’t have any advice, but my sister is like this, and I know how awful it is. I jsut want to give you an internet hug, and let you know you’re not alone.
Post # 7
@alyssaC: I am in a very similar position as you. And what really gets me is no matter how many times I or my husband addresses it, it doesn’t really get better. So two things –
1. Adjust your expectations. Don’t expect her to be nice, don’t expect her to be in “I love you” mode. And don’t expect her actions to ever change.
2. Keep your distance. If she asks, “Why doesn’t Alyssa come around anymore?” Your Fiance can tell her the truth. “Well Mom, you aren’t exactly nice so why would she want to be around you.”
Post # 8
I just don’t get people like that. It’s like she doesn’t realize that she is also pushing her son away by doing this to me. He has been so upset with her latly because he is starting to see the things she does. I think I’m already starting to adjust my expectations and I probably will start to go over there less, I hate that it has come to this because he has such a great relationship with him but now she is just pushing him away.
Post # 9
When she says comments like that I think you shouldn’t keep to yourself. Keep being talkative and just keep going. She says all those things to hurt your feelings and by you showing her that she has, it makes her feel like she won!