(Closed) Don’t know what to do

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Confront him- you stumbled on it mostly by accident. Can you imagine keeping that in forever? You need to know.

Im sorry about the situation 🙁 good luck.

Post # 4
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree – you need to be honest with him about how you stumbled upon it, and he needs to be honest with you about what is going on.  Definitely a huge RED FLAG!

Post # 5
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i agree with the other posters. with a shared computer you weren’t doing anything wrong, you found it by accident, and you need to find out what’s going on

Post # 6
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@dunnowhat2do: I’ve done the same thing, and my Fiance KNOWS I use his browser (chrome) for Facebook and stuff.  He’s also left it up.

In your situation, I’d confront him and, in the meantime, examine your relationship.  You said he doesn’t call you “babe” anymore, but is calling her that. MAJOR RED FLAG.

Good luck and sorry you’re having to go through this.


Post # 7
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

First, it doesn’t matter how you happened upon the massage, but you did.  I think we tend to automatically assume the worst in situations like these. So take a deep breath and try to relax.  There may be a very good reason for the message, and there may be a bad one.  You know nothing until you ask him.  I would suggest you be calm when you ask him.  Being accusatory right off the bat will make him defensive and the conversation could go down hill from there. 

I would tell him that you accidentally came across a message between him and another woman on his facebook.  Ask him why they are talking to eachother in that way and tell him you are uncomfortable with it.  You’ll have to see his reactions to this in order to know where to take the conversation from there.

Good luck!  I hope everything turns out ok!

Post # 8
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That is major to me. I know this girl, who is fairly close to me, and actually she went onto her facebook before me once, and when I did the same thing as you, I found a few convos between her and perfectly happy married men, flirting, saying how beautiful she was. Alot of people are not faithful out there. Not saying this is the case, but it sure seems fishy to me.

Post # 9
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh hun I’m so sorry, I’m sure that you’re just sick over it 🙁  You discovered it, and you need to talk to him about it.  I hope it’s nothing, and words are just words, but still….it’ll eat away at you until you know what’s going on.  (((hugs)))

Post # 10
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I mentioned this to my Fiance and he said “definitely call his ass out on it.” So there’s the male perspective. I don’t think you did anything wrong – that sort of thing (accidentally cruising around on my FI’s facebook account instead of mine) happens to me all the time when we are sharing a computer.

Hugs. Maybe it isn’t as bad as it might seem.

Post # 12
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Ugh this just makes me feel sick for you.  I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  Please come back and update us! 

Post # 14
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Definitely confront him about this.  It doesn’t matter how you found out, all that matters is you found out.  I hate when someone stumbles upon info like this and the guility party tries to turn it around and make the first person look like the bad guy.  i’m not saying this is going to happen to you, but it seems that you might be afraid of him saying you were “spying”

also, i cannot tell you how many times Fiance has posted random stuff as my status update thinking it was his own facebook.  It confuses my friends and family all the time lol.

Post # 15
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ugh I’m so sorry!!! Keep us posted and we are here for you!

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