- 4 years ago
Thank you for taking the time out to read this, but I need someone’s opinion here because to me I think I’m losing it!
So I met this great guy he’s 38 I’m 31, been together a year and a half Novemeber will make it two years. We’re living together he pays for everything, which I really don’t like at times because I feel he really resents me at times especially when we argue and throws things in like “pack your shit and go” or ” I pay for this shit”, which is quite often now being that he drinks everyday almost, and it’s always more then he obviously can handle because he starts stumbiling, acting stupid, doesn’t eat the dinner I prepared for him, or eats later at night, leaving me at times eating by myself with an attitude, because I really hate eating alone, knowing that I’m living with the man I wan’t to marry, could care less if I eat alone or eat at all. He used to worry about me “eating” when I wasn’t living with him, now he could care less. Spends money on beer, with out a second thought. He even asks the store for “credit” then winds up having to pay them double, I mean come on now, that’s like borrowing money, you have to pay then your broke again, because you really couldn’t afford it in the first place. Well, this is becoming very annoying, I feel like I’m “babysitting” an adult. I like the house clean but when he’s “under the influence” he could care less. IE: Peeing on the toilet seat, dropplets of pee on the floor, or better yet, PUKES every morning like a champion he is. Then he agrees and says ” you’re right, it’s not good for me”. Then does it again, it’s real tiring, and especially when we FIGHT, it;s always when he’s DRUNK! I really like to say what I feel but how could a drunk person take you so seriously???? Everyting turns into an arguement. I feel like I’m talking to the wall, whatever I say goes in one ear and out of the other, it makes me sick to my stomach. Especially when it comes to his family, mind you I moved in with him almost exactly a year ago, and ever since his brother’s come here to smoke and pretty much do nothing. At first I didn’t say anything, because I figured well, it is his family. But EVERY DAY they were coming over. No alone time between the both of us, and on top of that with him drinking while they were here, he would pass out. Like okay, thanks for hanging out with me. We never go out, always talk about “oh how nice that would be, to go to the museum, or out to eat” all we do is stay here, or run around and do stupid errands, like take his mom food shopping, or his father’s Dr. appointment. I’m not being selfish, but I never see my mother or father like that. I really wish I could, especially my sister, I haven’t hung out with her since, I think April. And the last time I did see her, he was with me. I’m starting to resent his family at times because, 1. the mother and father don’t get along AT ALL, just go about their buisness hating each other, talking shit about each other. It makes ME SICK!!!!!!!!! 2. The mother always complains about how the father doesn’t PAY ANY BILLS, “doesn’t talk to her”, “talks to other women outside”., always has a suspicion about what he’s doing, he guy is 74, he can barely walk, WTF is he really doing. 3. So for them always talking bad about each other, I started to not “join” them in going places, because I hate feeling TENSION between people, seriously, I even hate having tension between myself and another, because who needs that in their life? It really drags my emotions down the tubes, because being around negative people just have that great effect doesn’t it?? 4. There’s a 39 yr old brother that lives in the basement, doesn’t pay rent, sleeps almost all day, doesn’t wan’t to go to the “food stamp” office because, “he doesn’t like it”, oh wow, really but he sure does like to EAT the food his mom gets for him. Doesn’t get told to get a JOB, the older sister who is 41, has like 300 birds, 4 cats, 1 turtle and pays $600 a month, doesn’t CLEAN, or COOK, help the mom out in any way. The “adopted” brother lives upstairs, pays $400 a month, has his RUDE family members in and out of the house, SMOKES POT, drives a luxury car, but can’t pay more then $400 a month, WOW, LOL! Then you have the youngest, who is also adopted, and she gets money from him supposedly from the state, she turns around and GIVES him the MONEY that she gets for him. Like, really, what are you teaching this kid? Looks like being irresponsible and making sure Sneakers and an iPhone is soooo much more important. I always tell my boyfriend tell them to get a job, and to help their mother out. But nooooooooooo, he never EVER says anything. I recall him saying ” I can’t say that, she’ll get mad”. I really felt like saying “who CARES its called LIFE,GROW UPPPPPPPPPPPP”. I remember they had to put their dog asleep because she was very old, and ill wasn’t eating or drinking for a week, the mother calls me crying like a a little baby, “this isn’t fair, she ate a little and drank, this isn’t fair”. As I’m feeling bad for her, here comes the brother who supposedly “owned” the dog they had to put asleep. ” I wan’t another dog”. And in my mind, I’m saying to myself, WHO THE F$*%^ NEEDS ANOTHER ANIMAL, THAT FOR 1. YOU CAN’T AFFORD 2. ANOTHER MOUTH TO FEED, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE’RS “FINANCIAL” PROBLEMS IN THE HOUSE HOLD, WHO IN THE WORLD REALLY NEEDS A PET??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So who did the brother ask, my boyfriend, and had a problem getting the money back from him, because his brother is a fat, rude arsehole. I’m really getting sick of this shit because I’ve tried to be supportive with his family, but at times I just want to leave because I feel his parents especially his mother probably talk behind my back, like she doesn about almost everyone else. I’m pretty sure she ‘s crazy, and has a like, love hate relationship with me. I’ve always had intuitions like that, and almost 98% of the time, I was spot on. I have said to my boyfriend, maybe your parents should get a divorce, because who REALLY want’s to live that way??? He hates this, she hates you, she hates your previous children from another women before her, talks bad about them, she sends money secretly, but then says he sends money secretly to his kids, when she does the same thing with her children. Talk about CRAZY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! This past Father’s Day, she was “supposedly” mad that we didn’t show up. But I’m like “FOR FCKN WHAT, didn’t even know you we’re “doing” anything, and what made dinner omg, that’s an occuring event” like wait, don’t you resent the GUY at times you that crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy?!?!?!? You never took his last name, you talk so much shit behind his back, so why are you with hiim???????????????????????? I don;t understand. I’m sorry look if your not happy after 40 something years of being together, LEAVE THENNNNNN!!!!!! It’s really taking a toal on me, because I feel that my boyfriends mom RELYS on him for almost everything, and he feels compelled to do so like really, what about the people in the house living there????????? It’s always him. Which really has me second guessing him a lot, like if he’s too much of a MAMA’S BOY, it’s starting to sink in. I don’t want to be mean, rude or a b^$, but if your supposedly wanting to start a life with a SO, why are you always up your familys ass???? It makes me scared, that he doesn’t love me like he says he does, because we’re barely ever alone!!!!! Especially, when he said he would “miss his family” when we move a few hours away from where we are now, so I can start school, we could live in a better area, where the people aren’t so RUDE, like people from the city. He said to me the other day “I’m changing my life for you”. With an attitude, like really??????????? I said so stay here then!!! What are you changing?????? It made me sad, and sick to my stomach. I also said “soooo you think I don’t miss my family?” He sees his family almost every damn day, I barely even see my family. But I’m not going “crazy” or f^%%$# crying over it. I think about his past and how he’s lived in a different state before with a an ex of his, went to the military for 4 years and lived outside of the county, lived in an apartment by himself, but now it;s like he want’s to stay close to his family now that he;s with me, but excalims “i”m the best he’s ever had” how ” I’m so good, and all of this bullshit. But it’s like SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!!! The MOTHER’S house that is under “foreclosure” is full of cocaroaches, rats eww, black mold in the basement i don’t even know what else, but I let my bf know, that it will be a lot of $$ to repair this older home that NO ONE CAN OBVIOUSLY AFFORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get the hell out of it already!!!! it’s sad but why are you putting yourself into a hole!!! But here’s my bf the “savior” trying to get them a home loan under a military home loan, which i’m exclaiming happiness that he didn’t get it, only because no one pays the correct amount of rent, no one pays for their share of the astronomical amount of the cable, electricity, water, especially because the mom washes clothes all day long, doesn;t improve the windows in the house, which i suggested to save money, but who am I right??? I’m tired of trying to help with throwing in my two cents, but it’s like it doesn’t make a difference.
Pisses me off more when especially when he’s on the phone with his mom speaking in spanish I hear “cocinar” like if I NEVER EVER F^%$& COOK!! THEN SHE’LL SEND FOOD OVER SOMETIMES WITHOUT EVEN FREAKING ASKING FIRST. I don’t mean to be RUDE, but that’s sooo RUDE!!! Like if she’s secretly saying “I’ll always coook for my son” or ” See he likes this food better” or “I’m mommy, I’m number 1”. I can see her thinking that because she seems VERY VERY IMMATURE, for example she took their “puppy” to the vet, and all she kept saying is how UGLY all of the other dogs were, and their puppy was the cutest. I know your pup is cute, but CHILL OUT CUB SCOUT. I really get scared from people like that, I feel as if they’re vicious as F$^*$, quick to call someone a name because THEIR SO MUCH BETTER AT LIFE, etc. Like this is what kind of a woman she is, like if I get dressed up shell say “oh you look cute” soooooooooo any other time I’m not cute??? This isn’t a fashion show, omg. But then you have her crying if she doesn’t get approved for food stamps. Like, no really, save your money, because your so nice, and let people walk all over you” it makes me sick because it;s like my boyfriend is the “savior” in her life. Because everyone else has their own agenda, and couldn’t be bothered honestly. Especially the other sister who doesn;t live at the house, which is surprising lol. But she has the audacity to exclaim, she makes $100,000 a year with out her husbands “money” and how they both put up $30,000, for their children’s college, and “how their saiving, for a home of their own”, give me a break. So I asked my bf, nicely, how come your sister doesn’t help your mother, she has money, and dont you eventually wan’t to buy a home too eventually?? Like I don’t understand it!!! He supposedly doesn’t wan’t me to work at times, then other times he’s trying to look for jobs for me, REALLY HOW ABOUT YOU DON’T. Look for your loser brother who doesn;t do SHIT with his life. This whole situation makes me sick, it makes me angry, it’s like I feel depressed at times. Can this guy I’m with can never ever leave his family. Please help, thank you!
- This topic was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by coffeetalk.