(Closed) Don't know what to do anymore

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

i just left my job of 5 years. something i worked hard for also. The hiring process was so hard and long and once I was there for a while i would cry getting up for work, on the way to work , in the car about to get out a work and sometimes even call in as soon as i park. I was so tired of being unhappy. tired of being in that field and one day had a talk with my FI about it. He told me he didnt mind if i worked at Papa Johns, as long as i was happy. Fortunately, with our situation of no one to keep our kids and not a reliable daycare in town i resigned from my government job with benefits and a 401k plan and i stay home with our kids for the time being. i dont regret it at all. it took me about a year to decide but i could not stay there any longer i felt it. I am currently looking for PT work because FT right now is not an option, the job market here is so bad but i still dont regret leaving. follow your heart, talk with your Fiance about it and do what you feel is right for you and what you can afford to do. im 26 years old also!

Post # 4
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Start applying for other jobs.  It’s much easier to get a job when you already have a job (Krugman released a study on it within the last week.)  Is it the job you have or the people you work for?  If you both depend on your income, then quitting really isn’t an option unless you are being abused or harassed at work.

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What specifically is it about the job?  The work?  The coworkers?  I mean, basically, is it something that can be remedied by speaking to someone?

Post # 6
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would suggest not quitting your job just yet but to go ahead and start looking for something else. Try to figure out what kind of work you might want to do. Are there any related fields to yours that use some of the same skills? Check around with friends and family about any jobs they might know of that you might be qualified for. Maybe list your skills and then do a search online for what kind of jobs use those skills. Even if you don’t find something right away, I think even looking for something else and exploring other possibilities might be a kind of escape while you’re figuring things out.

Post # 9
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Would taking a paycut and demotion put you out in the field?  Could you and your FH afford the paycut so you can be more happy with your job?

My FH hated his job.  We needed the money.  Eventually after months of complaining about it, I realized he hated his job so much it was affecting our relationship.  So I told him to quit and that we would figure out the money aspect.  Now he writes full time and takes on temporary work when we need the additional money.  He’s so much happier and we figured out a way to make the paycut work.

Post # 10
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@iadornyou:  I was just talking to Fiance about this last night. I dont hate my job yet but I can tell I am getting bored and dont enjoy what Im doing. I want to have a job that is fulfilling like my FI’s (he’s a teacher and coach). I want to do something that will truely make me happy but the only thing I have ever known that I want to do is be a stay at home mom, buuut we dont have kids yet. lol Idk, I love personal finance but working in personal finance is different. We’ll see what happens… but if you are crying on your way to work each day I would say its time to go. Maybe you could find a similar job at another compay that has a better working environment.?? Then you could take classes in the evening if you wanted. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@iadornyou:  OP, I totally understand. I was in a job last summer that I felt the same way about. Full time hours, decent pay but I just hated HATED the job. It made me miserable and every day I just wanted to quit. However, in hindsight I am so glad I didn’t, because right around the time that I was seriously considering it, Fiance got laid off and that job that I hated became the only way to pay out bills and feed us. Eventually, Fiance found other work and I did as well. I am much happier in my current job, but my advice to you is this: never quit a job before securing a new one. I know it sucks, but you never know what’s right around the corner. I’d hate to see you quit without other employment and have your Fiance lose his job too and then where will you be? Start applying for jobs like crazy and do what you can, but stick this job out for now. It’s what’s best for you and your Fiance. 

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

While it sucks working a job you hate, my advice is always to stay at your job until you find a new job.  Being unemployed and relying on 1 income sucks! Darling Husband just got laid off for the 2nd time in 2 years and it’s really hard even though we don’t necessarily need to rely on both incomes.  It took him a year to find his last job and who knows how long it will take him to find a job this time.

What is it about the job you hate?

Post # 14
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@iadornyou:  I would start applying for other jobs and do this gradually.

Don’t just quit without a plan.

Figure out what it is exactly that you hate about your job. The people? The subject matter? The hours? Etc.

Figure out what job you WOULD like. Start doing some research as to what you need to get it.. education-wise, etc. Volunteer in the area if possible. Make contacts.

Having a job you hate sucks, but it also sucks having to rely solely on your husband and counting the months you’ve been unemployed. Right now it is so difficult for new grads to get jobs. My sister has a masters degree, still lives with my mom, and is having trouble even getting interviews for a job in her area of expertise. She is currently working two jobs that have little to do with what she really wants to do, and strange hours.

If you do go down the four year degree route, I would think long and hard about what you are going to get out of it, and get started early on practicums and/or summer jobs in your field.

It would also help to distance yourself from your job. Like make yourself not think about it outside of work hours. I had a job where I cried almost daily (I was yelled at by angry people and doing the work of at least five people on a daily basis), but I stuck it out until I got another job.

No one will make you love your job, but it does help to have a plan.  I don’t love my job as a whole… but I do like aspects of it. I tell myself that it’s only going to be a few more years and then I’m pretty set. I want to start my own business so I have been doing that on the side. On crappy days I tell myself that I do have it pretty good, my job is helping fund my passion, etc. It’s a means to an end. Not a way of life.

Post # 15
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@iadornyou:  He has a Bachelor’s in Theology and a Master’s in International Business.  But he hasn’t had a job related to his degrees since 2008.  He hated the corporate world so ended up waiting tables and tending bar at a country club while he wrote short stories and his first novel.  The country club started to tank and they used him as an assistant manager (without the promotion and pay increase of course) for over 6 months.  When they hired a new manager and still refused to promote him, he was finally over it and I was over watching him be miserable.

Post # 16
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

If you lack the education you need to make the job change that would make you happy, then use the stability and benefits of your current job to support you while you get the proper degree.  26 is well young enough to return to or start college.  It’s better and easier to do it now before kids if you can.  Does your current company offer to reimburse tuition for college or cover credit hours?  My mom’s old company paid for her degree and when they refused to giver her a promotion and salary once she earned her degree, she applied for and got her dream position at another company.

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