Post # 1
I posted on here about some of this issue already. Now I’m just really confused and upset myself! I’m trying to keep a positive outlook but…
My Future Mother-In-Law is apparently talking to OTHER PEOPLE about her issues with us and this wedding planning. They say she has “calmed down” but why should she have been worked up at all?
The thing is… We are paying for this wedding ourselves. We had a $6000 budget that is now $5000 but none the less we have plans to make it really nice. We have never hinted or asked his family for money. None the less they are expecting us to somehow have a nice wedding for 100 people for $1000 or less.
Things have changed, I should have gotten upset with it being so close to our wedding date but I wasn’t. I shrugged it off and worked it out. But apparently they are upset with US for the changes that were not our fault. And they are discussing this amongst themselves, about how we’re spending more than we can, how we shouldn’t be spending so much, how we are changing everything (even though we HAVE to)
So she says “You don’t have enough money for how many people you want to invite if you’re going to do it right” (she doesn’t know our budget) yet she continues to try and add people to our guest list.
She is upset with us for spending our own money (and not going into any debt for it) to have a decent wedding. I don’t want a redneck wedding with hot dogs and beer cans and that’s it. My fiance and I deserve a nice wedding, and although it can’t be super nice it will be nice.
But if we are going to have a redneck $500 wedding we will just go to the court house and do it there and not worry about any of this stress. My fiance was saying “I’m just ready for all of this to be over, it’s unnecessary stress and bull” and he’s never said that, not until he got an earfull from his family because my Future Mother-In-Law is upset and apparently telling others how upset she is with us. What in the world? We’re not spending 20k+ on this, no debt, no credit cards, we are spending what we have.
I don’t know what to do. I thought it would blow over but apparently even though she’s “calmed down” she’s still upset.
How do I handle this?
Post # 3
How do you handle it? You don’t. You are an adult, your Fiance is an adult, and as such you can do what you want with YOUR money. If she has a problem with it, then that’s HER problem.
Honestly, it might be time for Fiance to talk with his mother about this- reassure her that you are spending an amount that has been discussed and agreed upon between the two of you, and that it isn’t really anyone else’s business, and if she has a problem she can approach him like a grown up and not blab about it to other people.
She can either agree with him and let it go, or she can look like the town fool with a stick up her ass.
Post # 4
This is ridiculous, she needs to keep her nose out. I just wouldn’t tell her anything about the wedding, that way she wont know what your planning or spending and get to do what you want
Post # 5
Thanks both of you. I’ve tried really hard to have a good relationship with her and most of the time I understand her and where she is coming from.
But I don’t like the way things are going right now.
They have already had the discussion about money with us on my birthday none the less. And if we could afford it and we just dont understand how expensive it will be and this that and the other. I explained our plans, budget and where we were getting deals and help from family and thought the discussion was settled.
But the fact that it had to come up again. But this time she was UPSET with us irks me. I don’t get how someone could be upset with us for spending our own money on our wedding. They say we can have a super cheat whatever kind of wedding but that’s not OK with me. I want a wedding I can look back on and remember and smile when thinking on it. We only get one wedding. We may renew our vows but it wont be our actual wedding. So to me it’s worth spending my own money on making sure it looks nice and the guests are happy.
It’s just a bunch of confusion. Our guest list is too large but she wants to add people we don’t even know
We are spending way too much money but we need to “think about” all these useless details that cost a lot of money. And we need to do things “right”
It’s MY money but they’re mad we will be spending it.
I’ve avoided going over there the last couple weeks or so because of an email I got from her being all upset about the wedding money guest list or whatever it is she’s upset with. I’m sorry but I do think it’s not polite to discuss other peoples money and lecture on their money when they are adults. We are not children but we are 25 and have a child. I wouldn’t spend money we didn’t have for the simple fact my child would suffer. I know what I’m doing and I don’t want to be lectured on spending money on my own wedding. But I know the next time we see them it will happen.