- 9 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
As I sit here writing this, I am waiting for the phone to ring to find out if my fiance will still have a job or not on Monday. He text me earlier letting me know that his company he works for is having a company meeting at 1pm. Things have been very slow and they are a very small company. He’s not sure if he’ even going to get a paycheck. Worst case scenario, the company is shutting down. At the very least, he thinks they may have a week or two shut down without pay. My fiance works in the office but in the last month has been doing his job and half a day running a machine in the plant. His hours/pay have been cut and his insurance has gone up. To top it all off, I’ve been unemployed since March.
All along, his parents and my dad have been helping to pay for the wedding. My dress is paid for and we have paid deposits for the hall, photographer, and DJ. We have no idea how we are going to pay for wedding bands or a new suit for my fiance. Not to mention centerpieces, favors, gifts for Maid/Matron of Honor, Best Man, and flower girls. At one point, members of both his family and mine have said they will cater the food and we’ll hire someone to serve. A week or so ago, my Future Mother-In-Law decides to start looking into catering (she’ll pay) because she is worried we won’t be able to find someone to serve the food and do set up and cleanup.
So far, my fiance has been able (barely) to pay the mortgage, his car payment, his motorcycle payment (trying to sell the bike), the utilities, insurance, my engagement ring, and his credit card payment. I’ve been able to (barely) pay my car payment, my misc. credit card bills, my insurance, and we both chip in for groceries.Things are tight but manageable. There’s no money for extra’s and if we didn’t have our parents help with the wedding, we’d be screwed.
At this point, I don’t know what to do. Should we cancel the wedding? Just get married in his parents backyard and have no reception. Or should we just cancel the wedding and postpone it until next year sometime? Or should we quietly get married, cancel the wedding and maybe next year renew our vows and have a reception? Or talk to our parents and see if they still can continue to foot the bill? In the beginning, we had talked about having just a very small ceremony with just parents and siblings but both his parents and my dad where set on having a bigger wedding with family and friends. But at that point, we were both working and didn’t think our parents would have to help out much.
I’m torn, and I know I’m jumping the gun because I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I like to plan. And sitting here waiting is making me crazy.
I really want a wedding with friends and family and food and dancing and the dress. I’m probably going to come off as selfish because that’s what I want. I have sacrificed a lot-lived with my parents when my moms health was bad and then for 5 years after to stay with my dad. I never went to my prom (was majorly shy and dorky in highschool). So for once in my life, I wanted this one moment to wear a pretty dress and have a big party with everyone I love. But I know in my heart the most important thing is that my fiance and I have committed our lives together and the details don’t matter.
I’m on the fence because I want to be financial responsible but I also feel that in bad times like these, you have to find ways to celebrate and embrace life.