(Closed) dont know what to say, im getting somewhere with getting engaged, but …….

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@lucy_smith:  aw *hugs*

I think you’re doing the right thing, but everyone grieves in their own way. I know it’s hard, but him pushing you away really isn’t anything to do with you. Don’t push him, and just be there – trust me, he appreciates it.

I am sure that once he starts feeling a bit better (it’ll take time) you will get back on the marriage track again.

He probably feels some guilt too, like that he could have prevented it if he saw the signs etc. so make sure you tell him that there’s nothing he could have done (especially if he brings it up).

Post # 4
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lucy_smith:  Aw!  Having lost my dad (but not to suicide) I can say that it’s just to take time.  You’ll notice when life kind of resumes back to normal for him.  Until then, try not to mention any more marriage stuff – it will come.

I remember not even wanting to be intiate with my fiance (now H) for about a month at least.  We had some very unsettling secrets revealed about my dad so it really took some time to process that all too.

H and I got married about 3 months after the wedding (eloped) – I’d say life was pretty much back to normal for me before that – but I know everyone is different. 

I still mourned my dad – don’t get me wrong – but that feeling of walking in a fog, the sadness, no motivation, the desire to tell everyone you know what happened took a couple months.

Just offer your ear, ask him if he wants to talk, maybe just hold him a little too.

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