Post # 1
We’ve surpassed two years together with SO. Back in January, on my birthday, he told me that he put down a deposit on a ring. He even discussed how he negotiated the price down (lie 1).
He discussed potential plans and said it was coming for the anniversary (lie 2). The anniversary came and he said he would have it paid off by next pay packet (lie 3) and said he would propose by August (lie 4).
It turns out the ring he chose is extortionate and he still has over $3000 (more than a reasonable total amount for a ring nevermind the amount he has left to to pay! The ring is apparently $7000 Mark. There seems to be a lot of duplicity including that he only chose and put a deposit down in May (4 months) after he said he did.
I must be a horrid person or someone who puts pressure on him but why lie. These lies formed expectations and hopes which he knew would go unfulfilled. He doesn’t know when he’ll have it paid off but I feel misled and don’t know how to make peace with it.
Post # 2
Why don’t you ask him? I’d be concerned about what else he might be lying about, but maybe he just got mixed up. Maybe his first payment back in Jan didn’t go through, or the ring wasn’t ready when they said it would be. Unless he lies all the time, surely give him enough benefit of the doubt to have a discussion about it. If he does lie constantly, then decide if you want to deal with that forevermore.
Post # 3
lookingatthestars : Why are you staying with a man who lies to you? Honesty and respect are the foundations of a lifelong healthy relationship. With a liar you will be living in a house of mirrors, never knowing what is true and what isn’t. You deserve far better.
Post # 4
Wow a ring that much would pay for most of the wedding !
Post # 5
Maybe he just lied to you because he was too afraid to tell you the truth? You seem to constantly talk about proposing, so maybe (just maybe) he didn’t want to argue with you so he just ‘gave up’ for the sake of peace and quiet.
I don’t think a proposal is something you can set a date for, although it hurts to have those expectations and have them shattered. But it’s not like he completely lied to you, he did put that deposit on the ring so you know it’s coming.
Of course it’s not okay to lie to you, but as said, he could probably just have been afraid of an argument or otherwise, he didn’t want to disappoint you.