(Closed) Don’t know what to think…hate birthdays

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I felt sort of the same when I was waiting- but I finally got that my meltdowns and pouting was getting me no where. Actual talks about the hold up and solving those hold ups got me engaged.

Good luck! I hope he does it soon.

Post # 4
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Hey, don’t beat yourself up.  First off, Happy upcoming Birthday. πŸ™‚

2nd, I think most ladies on this site have felt that way.  I’m so tired of trying not to get my hopes up for the gift-giving-holiday-season which for us runs from October (Halloween is his favorite holiday) through my birthday, mid-March.  When asked what I want, all I can think of is, “To get engaged/married.”  So I shrug, and say, “I don’t know,” becuse I don’t want to make him feel it’s expected for a birthday or what not, and I don’t want another ‘Talk” right before a day that’s supposed to be fun.  Ans so, even when I’m really not expecting it, the holiday/birthday comes and goes, and that tiny, secret corner that’s screaming “PROPOSE TO ME DANGIT” doesn’t get wat it wants, there are some tears shed in the privacy of the shower or a stall in the ladies room at work. 

Also, my SO has been bad in the past about telling me had had plans, only to either forget or realize he can’t afford/arrange them, leaving my confused in the past about the surprise I was supposed to love but never came.  I think guys can just be like that – they get excited about the idea of planning a surprise, and want you to be excited, too, but then they realize it’ll take too much time/money/whatever and can’t do it, so they hope that by not mentioning it you’ll have forgotten it.  *Shrug* 

I think you’ll have a great birthday, no matter what you end up doing – and since he’s asked, tell him straight out something you’d enjoy.  Maybe he DOES have a plan (not trying to get your hopes up, but can’t see the glass as always half-empty) and just wants to make sure what you want to do?  Or maybe he’d panned it for your birthday, but something came up and he can’t and needs new ideas on what to do that day?

Gotcha on the children – I just turned 34.  Even though I know I’m not secure enough financially to take care of a kid, and I’m scared I’d damage my kids like parents did me, it really hurts that my body gets to tell me when I can and can’t have kids, it’s not really my choice.  Men can father children pretty much anytime after puberty, and as far as I know their age doesn’t affect the child’s development… but we have that fun window of time.  I feel kinda sad that I don’t think I’ll get to go through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy sometimes… although I am not adverse to adopting, I feel I’m going to miss something of being a woman.

Post # 7
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Yep! I was always the confident, cool friend who went places alone and just had a good time dating, not looking for a relationship…but I fell in love with Papa Bear! THEN I became, when will we get married? How many babies? Names of the babies, etc! (HE brought marriage up 1st. I always say that so not to be one of THOSE ladies.)

I understand about the birthday thing. I’ll be 30 on mine and although I am excited for so much going on right now, I just hope he would take that time to propose. I know he can’t because some stuff came up and I know how he wants it, but that big 30 is looking at me in the face.

Maybe you should do a sa day for yourself. That’s what my sister is planning for me. πŸ™‚ (More so for herself because I’ll have my baby near her birthday, so it’s a double treat for us.lol)

Post # 8
363 posts
Helper bee

A lot of women feel that way.  It’s hard to watch special occasion go by without an engagement, especially if you’ve been with SO for a long time. 

I’m crossing my fingers for you hoping that it won’t be much longer! 

And Happy Birthday! πŸ™‚

Post # 9
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah, my birthday is coming up too and I’m hoping(again) that this will be it.   We are finally on the same about marriage and children now after several talks so now I feel better about it.  Now if it doesn’t happen, well that is another story. LOL! I’ve had so many let downs that I can not count them!!  Especially, once I turned 30.  I definitely turned into “that girl”.  Lets hope that this is our month!!  Good Luck!

Post # 10
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


I definitely know how you feel. I’m not at all an emotional person – I barley cry – that is until my heart became set on marrying SO. Now I have private crying fits and meltdowns whenever a special occasion comes and goes without a proposal. For my birthday SO asked what I wanted and after thinking about it for a few minutes I said “I know, a diamond!” He smiled and told me “Not for your birthday” – so I knew not to expect it then which was good. And then as you mentioned there’s the reading into everything he does – he came home late from work – maybe he stopped off at the jewelers? I just want it to happen already so I can go back to being myself!

I hope it happens soon for you and happy early birthday!!!

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