Post # 1
I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish with this post, but I just know that I can’t really talk to anyone about it without creating drama so this seemed like a safe place to get everything out. So I’ve had a few friends that I’ve known for years and then a few newer friends and I had asked all 4 of them to be my bridesmaids. Everything was great at first, they were all excited for me, and then all of a sudden two of them went off and became best friends…without me. I tried really hard to maintain the friendships but nothing worked and it got to the point where I went three months without seeing or talking to them because they would say they were too busy when I invited them to do things, and then wouldn’t invite me when they did things.
So I finally got up the courage to confront them about it and ask them if they really wanted to be in the wedding and guess what? They both said no. I feel relieved that I can stop wondering what’s going to happen on my wedding day, and relieved that every wedding related event before then won’t be plagued with awkwardness…but at the same time I can’t help but feel really hurt. I thought these girls were my friends and I honestly thought that we would be friends way into the future, so to find out that they would rather continue to drift and not be my bridesmaids, than to put some effort into the friendship is just really hard to hear. I can’t help feeling like theres this dark cloud of every wedding thing I’m going to do that they would’ve been at before.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you deal with it? I know it’s for the best but I can’t shake the bummed feeling.
Thanks for any input!
Post # 3
My friends have been like this also. The friends with children, or the friends who are single, or the friends who live near each other tend to gravitate towards each other and spend a lot of time together and inadvertantly exclude others. I know they don’t mean to and I realize there are times when I’m closer to some friends than others. I can’t believe you spoke to them and that they did not want to make more of an effort to maintain your friendship. I have to remind myself that not all friends are meant forever, often they drift in and out of your life for a reason.
Post # 4
Hey Cupcake. Sorry to hear about your turncoat bridesmaids. I have not been though this, but I know I would be really hurt. You tried to maintain friendships with them and you tried to talk to them about it. I am sorry you heard what you did not want to hear, but better now than a week before the wedding. I would focus on the two girls you have now and be even more thankful for their friendship!
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear about this and I certainly would feel hurt if I were in your shoes. My grandmother used to always tell me that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. There’s not necessarily anything bad about the first two, just that their purposes are different than those of life-long friends. I don’t know if that’s any consolation, but it’s certainly helped me through a number of similar situations.
Post # 6
Cupcake, did you post a similar thread under a different name? I swear I read something almost identical to this on here recently! If not, this seems to be a common problem. I personally have issues when I introduce people and they seem to hit it off on their own. It’s something I have to work on…but I am so sorry they dropped out! All i can say is, thank goodness it happened now, when you have almost a year to go, as opposed to right before the wedding.
Post # 7
I agree with CantWaittilMay – though it’s really sad that you are losing two friendships, it’s better that it happened now rather than a few days before the wedding. Absolutely surround yourself with your remaining friends and bridesmaids who ARE being there for you. Clearly these two were fairweather friends, and when it came down to it, they couldn’t cut it when you needed them. You want friends who are going to be there through thick and thin, and it’s never easy to be in a friendship where you’re doing all of the giving and they’re doing all of the taking.