(Closed) Don’t know whether to be relieved or sad

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My friends have been like this also.  The friends with children, or the friends who are single, or the friends who live near each other tend to gravitate towards each other and spend a lot of time together and inadvertantly exclude others.  I know they don’t mean to and I realize there are times when I’m closer to some friends than others.  I can’t believe you spoke to them and that they did not want to make more of an effort to maintain your friendship.  I have to remind myself that not all friends are meant forever, often they drift in and out of your life for a reason. 

Post # 4
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hey Cupcake.  Sorry to hear about your turncoat bridesmaids.  I have not been though this, but I know I would be really hurt.  You tried to maintain friendships with them and you tried to talk to them about it. I am sorry you heard what you did not want to hear, but better now than a week before the wedding.  I would focus on the two girls you have now and be even more thankful for their friendship!

Post # 5
47 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry to hear about this and I certainly would feel hurt if I were in your shoes.  My grandmother used to always tell me that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  There’s not necessarily anything bad about the first two, just that their purposes are different than those of life-long friends.  I don’t know if that’s any consolation, but it’s certainly helped me through a number of similar situations.

Post # 6
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

Cupcake, did you post a similar thread under a different name?  I swear I read something almost identical to this on here recently!  If not, this seems to be a common problem.  I personally have issues when I introduce people and they seem to hit it off on their own.  It’s something I have to work on…but I am so sorry they dropped out!  All i can say is, thank goodness it happened now, when you have almost a year to go, as opposed to right before the wedding. 

Post # 7
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I agree with CantWaittilMay – though it’s really sad that you are losing two friendships, it’s better that it happened now rather than a few days before the wedding. Absolutely surround yourself with your remaining friends and bridesmaids who ARE being there for you. Clearly these two were fairweather friends, and when it came down to it, they couldn’t cut it when you needed them. You want friends who are going to be there through thick and thin, and it’s never easy to be in a friendship where you’re doing all of the giving and they’re doing all of the taking.

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