Post # 1
I’ll try to keep this short,
My father lives in the US (I’m in Canada) and has since I was 6. We aren’t supper close, but I still see him about once every two months, and we talk on the phone about once a week or so. He’s not being super helpful with the wedding planning, nor is he contributing anything (not that that makes a difference, but just thought I should mention it).
I also have a step-dad that has been in my life since I was 7. My “real” dad is still my father, but my step-dad has always been around to do the “dad” things while I was growing up. We are close, and he and my mom are contributing a lot to the wedding.
To complicate matters, I know my mom would love to walk me down the aisle, she has brought it up on many occasions.
Id love to have all three walk me down, but honestly that’s just not possible. So what do I do? I know either men will be sad/disappointed if they rent included, but then again, so will my mom. I have thought about having both dads walk me down, but then how do I honour my mom in some way? (she’s my best friend, so I want her to be involved in some special way) .
Does anyone else have any suggestions? Had anyone been in the same situation? FWIW, my mom would not be comfortable doing a reading, and I don’t personally find that job all that important. (not meant to offend anyone, just my opinion).
Post # 3
I should add that my step-dad will be totally fine with walking my down the aisle with my dad, but my dad will feel slighted, and will likely even vocalize it.
Post # 4
You could have your Bio- Dad walk you halfway down the aisle, then hand you over to your stepdad and mother who will escort you the rest of the way.
Post # 5
Both dads sounds a little strange to me, I would go with just your mum instead. Another solution is that you walk in with you Fiance (Swedish tradition), to show that you both are equal, i.e. you’re not given away.
Post # 6
I was recently at a friends wedding and her step dad walked her to the aisle then her dad walked her the rest of the way and for the first dance she started with her dad and finished the song with her step dad, I cried it was really sweet! My father passed away and my mom never remarried so my mom will walk with me.. How do you feel about walking with your mom and step dad half the way and you dad the other half?
Post # 7
It’s something I’ve considered, the whole “passing off” thing, but in my head, it just looks too complicated/ too many people involved, so I was trying to avoid that scenario.
Post # 8
You Dad needs to stop being petty. I seen other bees mentioned having one set of parents, your Mom/Step dad walk you have half way down the aisle then you Dad do the rest. Have your Step Dad do a speech or a dance and have both of your bio parents walk you down the aisle.
I don’t know if anyone else done this, but my cousin had both her Dad and Step dad walk her down the aisle.But they get along and are used to showing up together at her events.
Post # 9
@FortiesFlare: There’s always the option of you and your H walking in together. We did that!
Post # 10
I had this SAME exact issue! My stepdad didn’t mind walking me down with my dad, and my dad was totally AGAINST the idea. It took a while, but I figured out a solution! I’m having both of my brothers walk me down, so neither of them feel hurt, betrayed, etc etc. If you hsve another “male” figure in your family that you are close with, then go with that person. But also remember, this is YOUR wedding day and this is a moment you will look back on forever so do what MAKES YOU happy, and don’t worry about everyone elses opinion. I know that sounds mean, but it’s the truth, otherwise you are going to spend a day of other peoples ideas, and nothing that you feel comfortable with!! xo
Post # 11
Honestly I would just walk down with your dad. It’s not like you are estranged and it sounds like it’s going to cause more drama than necessary to ask your stepdad or mom. I was at a wedding recently where the bride walked down with her mom. Both her father and her stepfather were in attendance. Being there as a friend of the groom, I didn’t know the bride very well and it just kind of made me wonder what the father/stepfathers had “done” to warrant not walking down the aisle.
I would definitely do a dance with both of your dad’s though. I’m not sure how to honor your mom – you and your new husband could do a speech at the reception where you thank your parents and that would be a chance to recognize her.
Post # 12
My cousin went through this.
She had her mother walk her down the aisle, and she did 2 father-daughter dances (each about a minute and a half).
Her biological father still made a bit of a scene. It stinks but I’m not really sure you can make everyone happy in this situation. So make yourself happy!
Post # 13
@sienna76: That’s a really lovely photo!
Post # 14
What about having dads (one on each arm) walk you halfway to your mom, who then finishes it out? I’m all for giving mom her moment 🙂