Post # 1
Today is my RSVP date for my bridal shower and my host told me that my FMIL nor FSIL have RSVPed. So I check in with my fiance to see if his mother and sister will be coming and FMIL told him that her boyfriend may be in Vermont that weekend so she is probably heading out there. FSIL (because of our strained history) won’t go without her mother.
Not sure why it is bothering me, but it is. I won’t be going out of my way to attend any of their functions for sure.
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear that. Enjoy the people who really want to be there to support you, and hopefully at some point your FMIL and FSIL will recognize that they’ve slighted you by not attending.
Post # 4
Well course I can understand. I would be bummed too.
Post # 5
Yeah- like I could understand if they responded back saying “Hey I have plans already, we can’t come.” But they didn’t even do that and I just saw the lady about 3- 4 days ago. Maybe that is why it is bothering me because they didn’t even give my host (or me) the courtesy to know that they will not attend.
Post # 6
I’d be upset too, I mean, they are your future in-laws. Enjoy the people who are there and have a good time!
Post # 7
@armychica06: I had close family members miss my shower to. The best revenge is to enjoy yourself, post plently of pictures so they can see how happy you are, and know that it’s their loss, not yours.
Post # 8
Ouch. I’d be hurt and angry too, if I were you!
Post # 9
Welcome to reality…. It is interesting to see the occasional double standard when it comes to in laws… I’m sorry you’re in this situation.
Post # 10
I hear you. I posted a similar thing recently. My FSIL is a BM and won’t be attending my shower (has known about it for a while) for what I see is not a good reason. But oh well, I’m over it now – it will be fun with the guests who are there! It’s her loss ultimately.
Post # 11
I’m sorry- some people can be really self involved.
Hope you have a lovely time without them!
Post # 12
@armychica06: It sucks. But I think it’s safe to say that they have a history of letting you down? You just have to adjust your expectations. Understandably, this is a big event for you, but since when have they made you a priority in their lives? Why would this be any different?
I get it, trust me, I do. And I get that letting this crap go is easier said than done. But the more you expect, the more you will be disappointed.
Surround yourself, and more importanly, be GRATEFUL for your friends and family members that do matter and that share their love with you.
Don’t sweat it. Good luck!
Post # 13
FI called them and asked what is going on and now FSIL told him that she isn’t coming due to it being her husband’s birthday weekend and she is going to travel to Boston. FMIL still has not said yes or no but asked for my host’s information.
I really don’t mind if they come or not, I guess I am just more upset that they (the family of the groom) is being very rude by not RSVPing. They are the only representation of his side of the family and I am sure (because they are really close with him), they would want to know the gifts that we received.
I have a sneaky suspicion that because of our rocky relationship, it was the plan not to go the entire time. FSIL claims that she never received the shower invitation even though it was mailed to her house. I personally think she received it and threw it out because she clearly got our wedding invitation and bitched about that. So I got another invitation and hand delivered it, which she didn’t even response to that.
I didn’t go to her bachelorette party, since it was on my birthday but I at least contacted her directly and told her that I couldn’t make it but I wished for her to enjoy her night and that I was excited for the wedding. She was rude then and didn’t even respond to me not coming, nor wishing me a Happy Birthday.
At the end of the day, I really don’t care- I have a good turn out coming and extremely excited. But I won’t be inviting her to either of my bachelorette parties.
Post # 14
It does suck, but I hope you have a great day none the less