- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I have been scouring around the internet and I find story after story of brides desperately trying to get their grooms involved with the wedding planning. Why won’t he show an interest in this special day? Most likely he is very concerned about the wedding and wants everything to go perfectly. The main reason for this is that he wants his bride to be very happy.
This too, is my concern and despite that I am a professional caterer and have years of experience planning weddings (and events of all kinds) my advice has not been often sought out. Or at least, when asked I was promptly ignored. Don’t get me wrong, my bride to be is lovely. She is not a true bridezilla and understands that weddings can be a terrible chore at times but I find it is very hard for any reasonable woman to fight the wedding bug once bitten. Along the way there have been several things that I did not agree with but I let them go because I want her to be happy. Today I came home with a suit that did not fit her vision and she hated it. She did not demand I not wear it, but her face said it all.
I want to keep her happy so I will probably change the suit, she is really excited about the pictures and I can’t have her staring at a suit she hates for years to come. But I have to wonder, isn’t it my day too? Am I really involved? It is not a terrible suit at all but it does not match her vision. Which begs the first question…In regards to our wedding, if my taste is different from yours, why is the first assumption that I have bad taste? She found a dress she likes, I can’t choose my suit? To be honest, I love her and I do not care what she wears as long as she marries me. She (and few other woman i believe) share this sentiment.
To be fair I have not been thinking about this since grade school. I have not fantasized about a perfect day and a perfect venue where I was the center of attention and everyone thought I was beautiful. I foolishly decided to get married when I met a person I adored and with whom I could spend my life. I considered marriage after I met the right person. I did not dream about it my whole life. Weddings make me feel like it doesn’t matter who the groom is as long as the bride gets her chance to fulfill this crazy fantasy.
I have seen this many times in events I have planned. Weddings can be outstandingly stressful and it usually ends up that the groom is treated like some ill behaved child and shuffled around the room all night without much concern for his opinion or preferences.
So brides, please do not take offense. But if are having trouble getting your groom involved it might be because he does not share your same enthusiasm for this fantasy you have been nursing since grade school. He is interested in loving you and building a life with you. He does not understand why you have that terrible hair do and a bright red sunburn and why you can barely talk because you are so emaciated from some crazy diet you have been on that would challenge even the strongest soldiers on the river Kwai.
The reason why the groom is not more involved is because most brides will not listen to their requests. They just look at him like a sad little puppy and give him menial tasks…”why don’t you ask the DJ about some songs you like” she might say patronizingly.
If you want your groom to participate try respecting his choices. He is under the impression that you love him regardless.
Don’t let your fantasy wedding ruin your wedding.