- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
*Disclaimer-this is not intended to say anything about the religion or followers of Catholicism*
So, I’m very frustrated and am trying to cool off as I write this. I will also make sure I watch my tongue as I have some very harsh things I want to say at this moment towards the Catholic Church. Let me explain…
My fiance is Catholic, and it means a lot for him to get married at a church. I don’t care for organized religion, but wasn’t going to let that hinder what made the ceremony meaningful for him. Obviously, getting married to each other is very important but so is the manner in which we do so. I really looked forward to choosing the music for the ceremony. Both of us agree that writing our own vows is the top priority. We had booked the church in December after spending a year looking for one. We compromised on the church by selecting one that is Catholic and also ascetically pleasing. Things were looking good! I was very excited; until I called to make sure things I had thought were okay….I just wanted a confirmation. I never expected for things to turn.
Turns out that the music I so precisely picked out were deemed unsuitable. The music coordinator literally told me in a snotty tone, “Save it for the reception.” I got off the phone and cried. At this point my fiance said we didn’t have to have the ceremony at the church, but I didn’t want to do that to him. I then realized that maybe other things I thought were not a problem could be. I then made a phone call to the wedding coordinator at the church. I had a few questions:
-What is the dress code? To which she replied strapless dresses are fine.
-Can family members do the readings? She said yes.
-Can we write our own vows? Her response, I don’t know. I’ll ask the Deacon.
Later I got a phone call letting me know she passed on the message and the Deacon was going to look into it. Well, as I was flying high after a great visit with a college friend today, I received the reply from the Deacon. He said no.
I immediately let my fiance know. He said he didn’t want to have the ceremony at the church. The vows are too important. I told him I would look into other churches; I really would prefer to work things out allowing us to get married in a church. Well after I called another church, I refused to do the investigating into further locations. I told my fiance that he could do it. I am done being disappointed and talked at disrespectfully by different church staff. I’m not even going to get into that as my words would not be appropriate.
So I’m not sure if we are getting married at a church. It doesn’t mess to many things up as we are having a tented reception at my parents and can just add on the ceremony. I just want to make sure we try all our routes before we fore go it. Also, the situation is just frustrating. I would recommend that brides don’t make any assumptions about their wedding and ask many questions. It’s a good thing I did so a year before the wedding. They wanted to answer our questions 6 months out from the wedding. Now we have time to fix things. Sorry for the long rant.