(Closed) Don't really like groomsmen girlfriend, invite or not?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
9831 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

She should really be invited to the wedding and the rehearsal dinner at least, unless you are excluding guests for all of your bridal party

Post # 19
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You need to give your groomsmen +1s to the wedding and rehearsal dinner, but you are under absolutely NO obligation to invite her to your bachelorette party. The Bach party is for YOUR friends. You don’t need to invite her to the shower, either, unless its a couples shower, in which case you need to give your groomsmen a +1 to that as well.

 

 

 

Post # 21
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@cat05:

He is obviously with her for some reason.  If he truly didn’t want her than he would have made it very clear and she wouldn’t be with him.  Just because she flirts and is alone with a guy doesn’t mean she’s doing anything.  On several occasions I’ve flirted with several guys and spent time alone with them and I’ve never done anything with any of them.  I don’t really make an effort to get to know all my friends girlfriends because those girls aren’t my friends.

I think you should just invite her and learn to get over it.  You aren’t going to like both people in every couple you spend time with.  Everyone just learns to accept it.  I’m not saying you should be fake to her but if you start being mean because you don’t like her things might not end well between your fiance and her boyfriend.

If you aren’t giving the rest of the bridal party a +1 and it’s a very intimate wedding than I guess it’s different.

 

Post # 22
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

View original reply
@Jacqui90:  Agreed.

I think she needs to be invited to the wedding and rehearsal dinner but definitely does not need to be invited to the shower or bachelorette party.

Post # 23
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think it would be super rude not to invite her to the wedding.  Rude to her and the groomsmen.

Post # 24
Member
679 posts
Busy bee

You have to invite her to the wedding. Unfortunately, you can’t choose everyone’s SO, and he has chosen her for over a year and still continues to choose her. Guys say dumb things sometimes about supposedly wanting to break up with their gfs bc their friends don’t like them.  She is who she is. I doubt she’ll create a seen at your wedding, and chances are you won’t even notice her that day. You don’t have to invite her to the other events by any means, though.

Post # 25
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mchitt329:  +1

Sorry OP, but you need to invite her the wedding and rehearsal.  It would be very rude not to.  How would you feel if someone didn’t invite your Fiance because they didn’t like him?  It would suck right?  Besides, I’m sure she’ll be just fine.

Also, I think your rule about inviting only SO’s who live together is pretty crappy.  What about couples who choose to live apart for religious or finanical reasons?  Why is their relationship any less valid or worthy of an invite?  I think you risk offending a lot of people with this rule.

Having said that, you definitely do not have to invite her to other activities (shower, bachelorette, lunch-ins).

 

Post # 27
Member
4438 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

View original reply
@cat05:  Don’t make it a your family against her thing.  

 

Tell ONE person that is responsible, older, and willing (mistress of ceremonies, hotel security, DOC) what you will and won’t put up with before someone needs to be cut off or removed from the reception.  Then forget about it and enjoy your night. 

 

Have you ever been to a wedding with this girl before? I’d be REALLY surprised if she acted like that.

Post # 29
Member
4438 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

View original reply
@cat05:  Let’s hope she learned from that or has matured out of drinking all day since then!

Honestly there’s not much you can do about the drinking before, she’s probably considering it a mini-vacation!  But if you run into her just excuse yourself and say you’re busy with wedding errands but you’ll see her at the reception!

Seriously, don’t worry about her at the reception.  You can’t control her behaviour, you can only have a system in place to take care of it if she starts getting cray cray!

Post # 30
Member
3418 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I do not feel you need to invite her buy name, but the groomsman needs a plus one….

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