(Closed) Don't really like groomsmen girlfriend, invite or not?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 33
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

@cat05: It is assumed she is invited to the ceremony/reception, but certainly not the events leading up to them. 

Post # 34
Member
3418 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

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@cat05:  Personally (and I can only speak for myself), I am sure if you don’t like her, on some level she probably knows it, and it is possible she may feel the same. If I did not feel strong positive feelings for this girl and it is up in the air if they will still be together, then you are perfectly within your rights as The Groomsman’s friend (your loyalties lay with the groomsman) to invite him and give him a guest. Who that guest is up to him. You get what I mean?

Post # 36
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@Sapphire-Dreamer:  +1 I would address the invitation as and guest. Maybe he doesn’t even want her there, since they are on/off. 

Post # 37
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

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@ellisrobertson:  “I’m very unpopular with my opinion about this. I know that. But if you’re  prepared to cut this girl out of your life, then don’t invite her. It’s your  wedding. Nobody has an automatic right to attend. Nobody.  It’s a privilege and an honor to be important enough in someone’s life that they  want you at their wedding. If you’re disrespectful and rude, you don’t fit the  bill. Therefore, you don’t get an invitation.

+1000, I think we should be friends.

Post # 38
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would have your Fiance talk to his groomsman about it. Is he even planning to bring her? We gave everyone in our wedding party +1 and only 3 out of 10 brought someone. In fact, one of the groomsmen specifically asked his Girlfriend (of 8 years) to stay at home even though she wanted to come because he wanted “guy time”. =P

Post # 41
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@cat05:  Invite him plus one that way if he isn’t dating her anymore, he doesn’t have to bring her and she doesn’t have her own invite.  Otherwise it’s rude not to invite her since they have been dating for over a year and are still together and the bridal party typically gets plus one.  If he truly wanted to be broken up with her he would pull the trigger and do it.

Post # 42
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@cat05:  Hmm, yeah, it sounds like you are kind of stuck. That really sucks that you even have to deal with her but I think that’s just part of weddings. All the weird little relationships/scenarios come to the surface and you just have to make a decision and stick to it. 

FWIW, apparently there were a lot of little dramas going on at my wedding that I didn’t even notice. My friends told me about it later… like one of the groomsmen chasing a bridesmaid around ALL NIGHT trying to get her to dance with him and another guy being so drunk that he threw up in the lobby trash can! Hahaha. So don’t let her get to you and you might not even notice that she’s there! 

Good luck. =D

Post # 43
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Absolutely do not invite her to the other events, bachelorette parties and showers are usually reserved for good friends and family. As for the wedding, just say you don’t have room for her, if you don’t like her don’t invite her, it’s your wedding if you can avoid having people you don’t like there do so. I have a similar issue with the best man in my wedding, his wife is an unbelievable ***ch despite numerous attempts to be friends with her….but b/c she is his wife I have absolutely no choice but to invite her.Good luck, hope you find a solution.

Post # 44
Member
5187 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

If he is a Groomsmen then I assume he and your SO are close. Unfortunately that means you should invite the girlfriend. Not on a separate invitation to her house, but give the Groomsmen the option of bringing a guest. It would be rude not to if he has a gf.

Post # 45
Hostess
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You don’t absolutely have to, it’s your wedding. However, it is proper etiquette and I think that you’d have an upset groomsmen if you don’t go ahead and invite her. When we were planning our “normal” wedding, we were going to wind up inviting FI’s best friend’s girlfriend, who I can’t stand and neither can he. Heck, FI’s best friend can’t stand her. He’s only with her so she doesn’t take his daughter away, long story. ANYWAY, it’s up to you. 

Proper etiquette says yes, you need to invite her. But if you’re okay with dealing with the drama, then don’t invite her to the wedding.  

Post # 46
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You have to give him a plus 1 and it’s not your say who he invites.

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