(Closed) Don’t remember sending STD, but here’s an invite anyway…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think another mistake you made was ignoring his first message. If you had said something like, “sorry our venue only holds so many people” maybe he would have left you alone. IMO. Maybe not though, maybe he would have pulled the same crap anyways. Sorry this is happening though.

Post # 4
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh, dang, that’s so rude of him! Thank you for sharing this good advice, which I will definately use! Maybe you could try talking to him, explaining space problems, already reserving a certain number of seats, or whatever to politely uninvite the girlfriend? Good luck. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh man, he’s like an invite ninja!

Post # 6
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh! I’d be so pissed. If you’re absolutely sure that you didn’t send him a STD- tell him! I feel for ya.

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@SouthRNComfort: Is it possible he said he got the STD just to get an invite?  (Or, to be more blunt, he lied about it?)

If you didn’t send him one, and are 99% sure about it, it sounds like this is his way of bullying you into inviting him and his gf.

Of course… I could be wrong!!!

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I actually got a STD from a friend/colleague earlier this year and then never got an invitation. I thought about mentioning it, but it wasn’t a big deal to me. But still, it was very odd so definitely keep track of your lists!

Post # 9
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hmmm… I should start a list.  Thanks for the tip!!

But you know… You DO have the option to reply “I’m so sorry, there seems to be a misunderstanding.  I can completely understand it, if you haven’t yet recieved the formal invitation with your change of address, and all, but we were only able to invite you.  Adjusting the guest list at this time will not be possible.  I’m sure you understand, and please thank [your girlfriend] for her well wishes, but we simply aren’t able to accommodate additional guests at this point.  I do hope this doesn’t change YOUR ability to join us on October 16th.”

(This is especially OK to do if you’ve already mailed an invitation to him that clearly shows you’ve only invited him WITHOUT the girlfriend.  It’s less-OK if they live together, and if they’re engaged, the two should be a package deal.)

Post # 10
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@teacherandageek: lol this!

People are starting to get pretty crafty when it comes to wedding crashing!

man that is awkward, so sorry! Hopefully they don’t cause too much of a scene!

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@UmbrellaMoon: Perfect response! I’ll have to tuck that one away just in case ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

This sounds really sketchy. “i received your engagement notification,” is not the same as I received your Save the Date. I think he just said that to get an invite out of you. And he then wrote about his girlfriend to make sure you didn’t just invite him. You’re so nice to still invite him and his gf. I would probably get really mad and respond, Oh I’m flattered that your gf wants to attend but we’re only have enough room for family members at our venue, or something like that. Good advice on making a paper list. 

Post # 13
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@teacherandageek: Thanks. – I’m just hoping I don’t have to pull this one out too many times!

Post # 15
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I do NOT think that failure to respond to his FB message means you have to invite him (or more importantly, his girlfriend).  (In fact, I usually assume no response = no invite.)  He’s being quite rude in his assumptions and aggressive pursuit of invitations.  Just use the language UmbrellaMoon gave above.

Post # 16
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SouthRNComfort: My suggest response isn’t particularly “crafty.” and it’s not rude.  You are the hostess and every person that is invited is YOUR guest.  If your family has a problem with his girlfriend – and more importantly, if you would rather not have her at your wedding, then you’re under no obligation to invite her.  You don’t owe your cousin an explination any more detailed than the one I suggested.

If you were just worried about the head count and she’s mildly annoying, then, sure, invite her.  But if your concern is more substantial – like she’s been known to have all out “scenes” with family members, or there’s ever been a restraining order between her and one of your family members (oh, don’t judge, I may be dealing with that drama if my aunt & cousin don’t settle down over the cousin’s boyfriend!) then you’ve got every right to politely correct your overly eager cousin.

The topic ‘Don’t remember sending STD, but here’s an invite anyway…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors