(Closed) Don't think she should be at our wedding. Practical or petty?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

She’s his friend; I don’t really think it’s up to you to tell him she doesn’t make the cut if she hasn’t done something horrible.

Post # 4
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We had a few of these. If it’s important to him, best to give in now instead of letting it become a big thing before you give in later.

Post # 5
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wouldn’t invite her. Sorry bee. Hope it helps

Post # 6
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I say if your Fiance has considered all of the things you mentioned but still wants her therer, she should be invited. I try to let my Fiance weed though his friends and he lets me choose from mine. 

Post # 7
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If she is going at the expense of someone who did actually go to your engagement or invited you to there wedding scrap her off the list.

Post # 8
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

IMO I would not want her there. Like you said, she didn’t invite you to her wedding, why should you? I would bring that up with SO emphasize that point to him. She felt it ok to exclude your Fiance, why can’t your Fiance feel ok with it also? He might just be like my SO that just wants to keep the peace but try talking to hiim about and if he doesn’t budge you might have to invite her. Most likely she wont even show up since she doesn’t seem to value the friendship by not showing up to the engagement party.

Post # 9
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Let him make the call; I say invite her. 

Post # 12
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - ceremony at a gazebo outside, reception at neighboring restaurant on a lake

A couple of my friends recently invited me and my fiance to their wedding.  But I’m not inviting them to mine.  It is because we are only inviting immediate family, aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins (no great aunts/great uncles, 2nd cousins), the bridal party, the couple that hooked me and my fiance up, and then 5 of my coworkers that I am very close with.  If I were inviting my very good friends, it would be another 40 ppl, and we already have a guest list of 120 with family and bridal party.  A side note: I get to invite my coworkers because my fiance has 80 of the 120 ppl claimed because of how big his family is, so I got to invite a few extra.

Anyways, I think it is fine if she doesn’t invite both of you.  It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you two, that she wouldn’t come support you at your wedding.  It likely means that she doesn’t want any weirdness on her wedding day since your fiance’s ex will be there!!

I think you should just let him invite her and her fiance.  He should get to invite who is important to him on your wedding day.

Post # 13
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

If he wants to invite her he should.  But I don’t believe that just because someone did or didn’t invite you to their wedding you have to do the same.  To me, that is being petty.

Post # 14
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I probably wouldn’t want to invite her either. But keep in mind, with everything that will be going on that day, you probably wont even realize if she’s there 🙂 

Post # 15
64 posts
Worker bee

I personally wouldn’t invite her, but mostly because it doesn’t sound like you and your Fiance are that close with her. Of course, since she’s technically FI’s friend he should get the final say in inviting her.

But if you haven’t seen her recently enough to even meet her fiance, and she didn’t invite you to her wedding, it just seems that you guys aren’t close enough for wedding invites. I wouldn’t worry about the whole social circle thing either – she can’t exactly get huffy for when she didn’t invite you either, right? Glass houses and all that 🙂

Post # 16
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it’s ultimately up to your FH if you have no big issue with her as a person. Unless she’s taking the place of someone you really really want to come who otherwise won’t be able to then I think you need to just let her come.

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