(Closed) Don't understand drug addiction

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ecrowe1218:  Its terrible to watch, even harder to try and understand…. some people are born with fracture in their soul and it leaves them with a taste for oblivion.

Post # 4
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I don’t understand why people choose to take drugs either. I mean, no matter what happens in your life that’s no excuse to make a terrible decision and do something that everyone knows is bad. Hopefully your sister turns her life around, good luck dealing with it until then!

Post # 5
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ecrowe1218:  It’s hard to watch. I personally could not be in her life while she is choosing addiction and refusing help. That doesn’t make me ( or you ) a bad person, I just know my limits and I just don’t have sympathy for self manufactured problems. 

Post # 6
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@ecrowe1218:  I have no words of wisdom to offer, only empathy for you. Six months ago my very best friend, a sister of 32 years to me, overdosed and died from prescription drug abuse. Her overdose was less than a full year after I had to throw her out of my home. She and I lived together for a time and it was HELL, and you are right, you do NOT want your children around it. I am so sorry for your situation. Only unless SHE DECIDES to get help and get clean will the problem be managed. 

Post # 7
8428 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

Unfortunately, she cannot be helped until SHE seeks help. My best friend of 8 years is a meth and heroine addict and it is so devastating to see her like that. She gets more and more distant to the point where when I told her that I got engaged instead of congratulating me, she asked me for money. I check the public dockets daily to see if she’s in jail, because when she’s in jail I at least know that she’s getting meals and showers. She’s been living in a tent city in the Arizona desert for months now. 

Why she chose to live that life over what she had before is beyond me. She went from living in a multimillion dollar house on a golf course with brand new cars to being homeless with absolutely nothing. When I ask her why she lives like this and why she chooses to remain homeless, her response is “Boo, I’m cute no matter where I stay.” Sure, last I checked being homeless cuter than puppies. I fear she’s now prostituting herself to pay for her expensive habits. It breaks my heart… 

Post # 8
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry you and your family are dealing with this. But I am baffled you say you don’t want to understand what so many of your close family has struggled/is struggling with. Refusing to will not make the hurt of it go away. Addiction has a large genetic component, and with such a family history, if I were you I would want to get a handle on it for my kids – they are at a higher risk of becoming addicted. Drug addiction isn’t just going to get out of your sister’s system because she had a chance to party – it doesn’t work that way. Right now it sounds like she is in denial about the drugs being a problem, and that is so hurtful to watch. I wish you and your family peace.

Post # 9
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

You have my sympathy, and my advice to you is to keep your distance for the sake of your kids and your own sanity until she chooses to seek help. If you think the child is at risk, you must also take steps to protect the child.

Now… why do people take drugs. As someone who used to take lots of them, I can answer this easily.

– Curiosity/boredom.

– Coping mechanism (numbs the pain of the other stuff in your life… gives you other problems which are, ironically, easier to cope with).

– Fun.

– Social.

– No consequences in the short term, only the medium/long term.

I think that about sums it up. The only way she’ll stop is if she completely cuts ties to her old life and moves on. Once she is prepared to do that… maybe then she can talk about moving in with you.

Post # 10
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Prescription drugs are very dangerous and scary to get mixed up in, especially if there’s a genetic predisposition for addiction. Your sister is sick.

Its hard to understand (my biological father is an alcoholic) and even harder to cope with when the person won’t take the help being offered to them, over and over again. Try not to take on too much of her issues, I learned this the hard way and completely broke down when my father didn’t stick with his treatment plan after rehab and guilt tripped me about why he was the way he was.

The most helpful thing I found was to educate myself about the psychology and biology behind addiction. Learning that its a sickness helped me when I was feeling guilty, angry, frustratied, hurt, disapointment, pity…. you name it. Education is invaluable when dealing with a situation like this, also counselling for yourself would be useful in helping you process your own feelings.

Post # 11
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Nodding out like that can be a symptom of meth use. I’ve also heard of combining benzodiazapenes like Xanax with meth or methadone for a more intense high. Personally I do not see the attraction of being out of control like that, but it appeals to some people and it does fundamentally change their brain chemistry to make them sick. I don’t understand the initial choice to use drugs, but since I do understand the biochemistry I understand the addiction.

Post # 12
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am so sorry you are going through this, but good for you for not being an enabler!

My SO’s little brother overdosed on heroin a week ago. Luckily the paramedics were able to revive him with some shot to his heart. SO sat down and talked to his brother last night and his whole family is really torn up. His brother hadn’t used in a year, but addiction never goes away. 

I tried to tell my SO his brother was using again or headed that way and he wouldn’t listen. He still won’t listen, his brother told him he owed $600 to the bank, didn’t mention the credit card he maxed out that his mom told him about, and then tried to tell my SO he only used twice. I don’t know how much heroin costs, but I’m pretty sure he had to of used more than twice to rack up that much debt. I am continuing to encourage my SO to educate himself and join a support group. 

I will give you the same advice, just educate yourself as much as possible so you can understand what is going on with your sister. And I wouldn’t blame you one bit for cutting off contact with her if she is in denial about her addiction. If I had kids now, there is no way I would bring them around my SO’s brother. 

Post # 13
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My little brother just entered rehab for the second time for his addiction to Oxycodone.  It sounds like your sister may be taking the same.  He had very similar traits.  It’s been very difficult for all of us.

However…your sister has a problem.  And there is a child on the line.  An addiction is a disease and she can’t help it to a degree without help from someone or something else.  Getting angry at her won’t be of any help. 

Post # 14
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve never understood it either but that’s only because I don’t get addicted to drugs (haven’t tried “hard” drugs so don’t know about those). I won’t lie, I smoked marijuana in high school for many, many years and never once felt addicted. I suddenly stopped in college and never looked back. I smoked cigarettes (yes, it’s a drug) for over 10 years and decided to quit one day. Haven’t smoked one in years. I took adderall for ADHD for at least a year and once I graduated, I stopped. I’ve never felt addicted to anything and once I decide to stop, I stop. So it makes it hard for me to understand why other people can’t do it too.

I understand that other people don’t have that ability but it makes it hard to me to show any sympathy towards people’s addictions…

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