(Closed) Don't understand drug addiction

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

@ecrowe1218:  What a sad situation. I think it’s probably hard for non addicts to understand the addict mindset. I view it as a compulsion though, more than a choice. I hope things get better.

Post # 18
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The nodding sounds to me like pain killers or heroin in combination with the benzos (lexapro, xanax).  That’s what my husband used to take and he had the same symptoms.  I can just pick it out after having lived with it.

My husband is clean now and in recovery.  He attends several meetings a week and NA is a huge part of his life.

I attend Nar-anon which has been life-changing for me.  I can’t recommend it enough, especially for someone like you who has had so many addicts in your life.  It might feel like, why should I have to go to some meeting when my sister isn’t putting in any effort?  But I had to learn that it wasn’t really about the addict, it was about myself.  I loved having that time that was just for me, when so much attention and energy gets sucked in by the addict.

I firmly believe addiction is a disease.  An addict has a choice to use drugs in the first place, they have a choice to abuse the drug, but it stops being a choice at some point.  Denial is part of the disease; the disease lives inside the addict and wants to continue unsuppressed and denial is a tool that the brain uses to preserve the addiction.  The addict is suffering even though I know it is really hard to see it that way sometimes.

Most of the siblings of addicts in my group also feel an anger towards the addict like what you are describing.  I think it’s so hard for the siblings.  Most of the families resources and attention goes to the addict, while you are most likely a very responsible, hard working person on the straight and narrow who is having to stand by and watch all this happen.

I understand what you’re going through and it can elicit every possible emotion and really consume the family.  I try to practice detaching with love every day.

Post # 19
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@ecrowe1218:  Unfortunately, drug addiction is like watching a demon take over your loved one.  Definitely look into Nar-Anon or some other support group for you and the other family members dealing with her and her addiction.

Addiction to prescribed medications is the worst because their answer is always “my doctor prescribed it for me” so getting them into treatment is a nightmare unless you can prove they are taking more than they are prescribed.  Has her doctor seen her on her fully precribed meds?  If not, I highly recommend convincing her to take her regularly prescribed meds and then take her to her doctor to show him what he’s doing to her.  Obviously, this won’t work if it’s a pill mill doctor but some doctors honestly do not realize how much they are prescribing for their patients.

If she is taking more than the prescribed dose then you might be able to get help.  Most states have a program where family members can petition the court for court ordered substance abuse treatment.  Asking around drug treatment centers should point you in the right direction.

In my experience most substance abuse starts with a mental health disorder then leads to physical dependency on the drug.  She really needs proper medical withdrawal resources along with regular counseling to deal with her mental health disorder as well as some cognitive behavioral therapy to help her cope with her anxiety without the pills.  None of this is easy and she really needs professional help, the faster, the better her potential outcome.  Not to mention, her continued abuse of substances increases the chances that her own child will also turn to drugs just like mom.

Post # 21
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have a friend from Nar-anon whose husband was a home-care nurse and was taking drugs from his patients.  There is a program in PA for nurses seeking recovery that allows them to keep their license and continue working in the field, but I think a stipulation is that they can’t be in a pill-dispensing role anymore.  I don’t know a ton more about it, but I know my friend’s husband participated in it.  He was caught by his bosses, but came clean about everything and asked for help.  I believe conditions were in-patient rehab for at least 30 days followed by out-patient and regular drug tests.

Yes for Nar-anon, you would just show up.  I remember feeling so uncomfortable walking in for the first time, and I still remember who it was that pulled me aside to explain to me about the group, I still remember who chaired and spoke at that first meeting I went to, and this was 2 1/2 years ago.  I’m going to PM you about my location, maybe you are nearby.

Post # 22
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@ecrowe1218:  You should be able to just show up to a Nar-Anon meeting.

As far as her nursing license, maybe an intervention will convince her to get the help voluntarily.  My understanding is that voluntary treatment is usually not held against your license but court ordered treatment is.  Maybe that will be enough to get her to agree to treatment.

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