(Closed) Don't understand …got new ring and they are saying it looks too big

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@Inlove2001:  It’s beautiful!!!!! If you’re comfortable wearing it, don’t worry about what anyone else says.  I think 2 carats is still tasteful (as opposed to some celebrity rings – 15 carats, Kim Kardashian? Really?) while still making a statement.  Rock that ring, girl!

Post # 63
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

They are probably saying that because they were used to the size of your previous ring.  Maybe they think it’s a waste of money to upgrade, so they are trying to make you feel bad about it by saying “it’s too big.”  There might be some jealousy in there too.  I would just stop showing it to people, and if they commented rudely, I would call them on it.  You don’t have to be mean back, but you can say, “You know, that’s a really rude comment.  What do you expect me to say in response to that?  I love my ring.  I obviously don’t think it’s too big or I wouldn’t have bought it.”

Post # 64
441 posts
Helper bee

Don’t reset it or change it!

Bling is king. 

Post # 65
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion

I think it’s lovely! My guess would be that the negative comments are coming from jealousy and or differences in taste. I’d wear it for sure, however! 🙂

Post # 66
1220 posts
Bumble bee

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@Inlove2001:  it’s gorgeous! No such thing as too big in my opinion! rock it proudly!Laughing

Post # 67
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@Inlove2001:  I would probably be one of those people, because its definitely not my taste and it is, well, big. I don’t like it, but that also doesn’t matter in the least.

Also, Im not jealous. I hate it when bees pop up everywhere with “she MUST be jealous if she doesn’t like your ring” – not true. I love your centre stone but I very much dislike the setting, mostly because it is very in-your-face and I think it detracts from that beauty tucked in the middle.

Not jelly jelly, just don’t like the ring.

Post # 68
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2003

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@Inlove2001:  It looks lovely. It does not look gaudy or too big in the least bit. Congrats on ten years!

Post # 69
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Inlove2001:  I think people make comments like that because they’re jealous.  The only thing that matters is you love your ring.  Who care’s what anyone else thinks!

Post # 70
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

pssshhh. It is amazing!  I love it on you!

Post # 71
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

Everyone has their own line for when something is so much it looks gaudy to them. Mine’s rather conservative compared to many bees.

It does seem odd that your friends would give you unsolicited feedback though. Do you have this dynamic with them generally, telling each other when you honestly don’t like the other woman’s sweater, etc.? If so, it’s only natural that they would give their opinion about the ring. If in general everyone is always complimenting each other, I don’t know why they made an exception for your ring. The best thing is probably to ask them to elaborate, and if their elaboration doesn’t heal your wounded feelings, then tell them: they hurt your feelings. A good friend would feel sorry for doing that and make sure not to do it again. A crappy friend… is better off as an ex-friend.

Post # 72
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The only thing that matters is how much you love the ring. 

Perhaps I’m lucky but I honestly don’t have the sort of friends who’d dream of making that sort of comment and neither would I do similarly. If someone was thrilled with a new ring then I’d be delighted for them. Whether or not it was my taste is immaterial.

Personally I couldn’t wear a ring that large (I don’t even have an engagement ring because they don’t suit me) but my preferences wouldn’t make someone else’s ring “too big”. 

I often think this type of unwanted comment is best answered with “Did you mean to be sound so rude?”


Post # 73
2724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

Looks gorgeous!! What part of Texas do u live in? I live in deep south Texas…an hour away from south pare island and 15-30 mins from Mexican border. here it’s common for married woman to not have a diamond ring…much less a wedding band. the majority of the population lives in poverty here. any diamond…no matter the size…is something major here. when ppl say it’s too big and make catty remarks…it’s usually a sign of envy and jealously. don’t let those ppl rain on your parade.

Post # 74
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Who knows what people are thinking or what their motivations for saying things that they say are, all I can say is that it doesn’t matter if they are jealous, trying to make you feel bad/good, or that it just isn’t their taste, because whatever their reasons, it doesn’t change the fact that you love your ring and that it is yours and not theirs. Rock on (pun intended) girl!

Post # 75
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Inlove2001:  jealousy is an evil monster…

as long as YOU love it, who cares! rock that ring!

Post # 76
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think posters here are really confused about what jealousy actually means. Your friends may be envious, but I doubt their jealous. Or, they may just simply think your ring is too big. Everyone has a different opinion. Of course your stone is on the larger side, but your setting is also not plain, some may describe it as eccentric, others may say it’s perfect, some may think it is gaudy, and maybe someone thinks you could’ve even gone larger! It’s all perspective. I never understand why women immediately assume jealousy. It’s important that you love your ring, no one else has to no matter what their reasoning. For example, I’m not saying I wouldn’t want a 2 ct ring, but I know I wouldn’t want a halo. I am not a fan, and as another poster mentioned, the stones in your halo are larger compared to most other halos I see, and your setting looks high. I am genuinely in the category that think your ring is too big FOR MY TASTE. Not because I envy your ring, but because I prefer more delicate bands and designs. But that doesn’t matter. It’s YOUR ring, not mine and not your friends who may say it’s too big.
To answer your question, just reply saying whatever you honestly think. If they say “OMG it’s too big!”, just tell them that it isn’t to you, you think it’s perfect, and you love it. Opinions differ. You don’t have to agree with someone and they don’t have to agree with you. 

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