(Closed) don’t want a bachelorette party

posted 10 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
1129 posts
Bumble bee

If you do feel strongly about this, I would highly suggest sitting your bridesmaid(s) down over coffee and explaining that while you appreciate her wanting to host a bachelorette party for you, it’s just not your cup of tea.  I would suggest that you prefer a co-ed evening out with a small group – or whatever your heart desires!

As for the shower, I would let them host it.  If you don’t like something specific (games, gifts, etc) tell them what you are not okay with including.  I think I’d be sad if I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and offered to host one – only to be told ‘no thanks.’

Post # 4
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m in a similar situation.  I don’t want a shower or bachelorette party.  For the first couple months I was engaged I was probably asked every single week if I changed my mind and wanted one.  I think they finally got the “hint” that I don’t.

It never occurred to me that I might be hurting someone’s feelings like christalynn suggested.  I thought I was doing them a favor by making them do less work!

Post # 5
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i understand. for me, i just totally am against the concept of bachelor and bachelorette parties. the only way i would have one if it was combined with my fiance and all our friends.  however we just moved really far from our family and friends and it looks like i am only going back for the holidays before our wedding….so i just plan to constantly remind my bridesmaids that i do NOT want a bachelorette party and that i would even be upset if they did a surprise one for me.

you just gotta voice your views and make it clear WHY you don;t want it.

Post # 6
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I feel this way about the bridal shower. All my friends are out of town and so is my family so it would be difficult to have everyone in one city for a small party, bridal or bachelorette party.

Post # 7
30 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

I didn’t want a bachelorette party either. Most of my close girlfriends live out of town, and I didn’t want to ask them to come in for the wedding, and a shower/party. I’ve had to do that before, and it sucks.  Instead, my best friend came in for the weekend, we spent the day on Sat. getting our nails done, hanging out, then we had a housewarming party that night (FH and I just moved to a new place). The housewarming was co-ed and I had a great time because I got to hang out with everyone. As the party was winding down, some girls and I went to a local bar for a few drinks/dancing.  I know most people would have wanted more of a party, but for me, it was perfect.


Post # 9
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

starry… i totally feel the same!  my friends are all spread out and i just dont care anymore, given i have been to so many too at this stage in my life

dont feel obligated to have one.  i personally think it’s a waste of other people’s money, esp at this down economy.  every time i go to a bachloret paryt, it costs hundres or thousands of dollars depending on where we go.

now it’s my turn, i dont need to “get even” and have people fork out that kind of money.  it’s good you are being practical.  we have enough to do as is, no need to add one more trip/event to our lives!


Post # 10
6391 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I bet if you tell them you don’t want one they’ll drop it. However, if they keep insisting on one, try telling them you want to just stay home and watch wedding-related movies with them. That way they’ll get to hang out with you before the big day, but you won’t have to drink out of a penis straw at a bar :).

Post # 11
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My “bachelorette party” is going to be pedicures and margaritas with my sisters and any friends who happen to be in town for our Destination Wedding.  We’ll do it  the Thursday before the wedding, and I think it will be fun!  We are all way past the point of being interested in bar hopping while wearing penis jewlery, and none of us were EVER at the point that male strippers sounded fun.

Maybe you and your freinds could just do something you love to do, and make it low key.


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