Post # 1
Im meeting with a wedding officiant, a retired judge, this Sat. so I want to have some understandings of these things. I dont know whether to make it religious or civil. Fiance and I arent really religious people but I want traditions incorporated like the mixing of the sand and jumping the broom. Can we still have these traditions AND a civil ceremony? Also we want to write our own vows. Any advice is always more than welcome. Thank you ladies!
Post # 3
honestly, you can do anything you want..specially if the officant is not a religous one. my previous marriage we were married by a mayor and we incorporated several things, including the broom and our own vows!
Post # 4
@shalynnmarie: Okay. I guess Im just a bit nervous because there can be limitations to these sort of things and Im really hoping him and I bond because that is necessary. From his website he seemed to be pretty flexible:
Also are there any suggestions on what to ask him? I have a few questions started like the fees and if he could do a rehearsal but am I missing something?
Post # 5
I would ask him if he has any objections to any religous or cultural things you want to incoporate… i would ask him if hes ok with your reading of the vows and if he has any requirements of you. How soon he wants the deposit to secure date, etc
Also, i would ask him about the signing of the license and if he will be the one returning it to the courthouse, you would need to make sure you have 2 witnesses there to sign.
and lastly, i dont know your budget or venue, but i found if you DO invite them to stay on for the meal- most time they DONT but they tend to soften and feel honored.
Post # 6
@lindseyl06: I am a religious officiant, but I do a lot of secular ceremonies. Just so you understand “sand” and “jumping the broom” are not religious. They are ways to show unity and marriage, but they are not religious.
Items you might want to consider –
- Does he have a set ceremony that he uses or can you create your own?
- May you write your own vows?
- Does he have examples – ceremony, vows, unity….
- Ask about a contract
- As mentioned above ask about who is responsible for filing the license after the ceremony.
- Make sure you know how many witnesses you need. Some states do not require witnesses.
- Ask about payment set-up – booking and remaining amount, when are they due.
- What is his fee for rehearsals?
- Does he have a substitute if he is unable to officiant your ceremony?
Post # 7
Okay thank you all for that information. I would have never thought to ask about who files the marriage license but one more question about that. Will I need to go to the courthouse in the county where Im getting married to obtain all this or can I go to my county and get this? The place where Im getting married is not where I live or intend to live. Its about an hr and a half away from my hometown.