(Closed) Don't Want Him There

posted 5 years ago in Vow Renewals
  • poll: How would you invite a hated family member out of obligation?
    Don't invite him and refuse to discuss it with family. : (66 votes)
    92 %
    Invite him at the last minute and hope that they don't show up. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Invite him and bear his presence. : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    7216 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @TakeTwo:  Pull the rug off. Your family knows how he’s treated you. They may want to sweep it under the rug and pretend it’s fine, but it isn’t. When people say “You should invite your brother” just say “He strangled and slapped me AS AN ADULT. I do not want that kind of person at my ceremony. I will not invite him.” Stand your ground. 

    Post # 4
    9737 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Don’t invite him!  He assaulted you.  That’s illegal.

    Post # 6
    680 posts
    Busy bee

    Wow. Just wow. It’s one thing to do stuff as kids, but if he’s put his hands on you as an adult, that is definitely not acceptable in any way shape or form. Do not discuss this with your family one bit. They don’t need to know who you are/are not inviting or why. If they ask, tell them flat out that you don’t invite assholes who strangle and slap you to your vow renewal. Then tell them good day. If they make a big deal out of it, ignore them. They are accepting abuse and that is not ok. Be strong here. If your brother makes any threats or otherwise, call the police ASAP.

    Post # 7
    11982 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    don’t invite him, this is about you, why should he be there. period.

    Post # 8
    680 posts
    Busy bee

    Also, don’t forget that you and your husband could always just have a destination vow renewal with very select few family and friends since your family is anything but supportive of your well being if they are willing to side with an ass like your brother who hits women.

    Post # 9
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee

    You should not feel obligated to invite him; you have very good reasons for not wanting him at your renewal.  Abuse should never be swept under the rug.  If your family doesn’t want you to exclude him, that’s their opinion.  But, what matters most is what you and your husband want – this is your vow renewal and you have the right to decide who has earned an invitation.

    Post # 11
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Do not invite this guy. Seriously. This is your opporunity to do it the way YOU want to, and your family needs to take a back seat for a minute and realize that this is about YOUR feelings, not theirs. If they can’t understand it, that’s their problem, but it’s not the time to take it out on you. 

    Good luck!

    Post # 12
    601 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Hell no do not invite his ass and if your family doesn’t agree thats there fault kudos to you for standing up for yourself in this mess. In the end the wedding is about you and hubby are you gonna be happy ten years down the road and see him with your family in those pics?? Me personally I would rather not invite him and none of my family come then invite him and have him there. But thats my two cents. Good luck and congrats.

    Post # 13
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @TakeTwo:  I know this is an old thread, but I was sort of hoping you would follow up.  I was thinking, what a shame it would be for you to have a vow renewal so your family could see you get married, but then have them boycott because they refuse to acknowledge the bad relationship between you and your brother?

    Post # 15
    728 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Honestly, my husband would make this decision for me. After he got done kicking his ass.

    The topic ‘Don't Want Him There’ is closed to new replies.

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